His dreams were her dreams.
Mike and Sue Candrea shared a passion for their children and the game of softball throughout their 27-year marriage.
Sue Candrea took so much pride in her husband’s achievement of becoming the U.S. Olympic softball coach that she retired from her job as an accountant to join the team on its five-month pre-Athens tour.
“She hated to lose,” Mike Candrea said Tuesday during the team’s news conference, his first time addressing the national media since Sue Candrea, 49, died July 18 of complications from a brain aneurysm she suffered while traveling with the team in Wisconsin.
“She had a lot of the same characteristics that I have, but more importantly, she was my wife, my friend, and you don’t really realize how much you miss someone until they’re not there,” Candrea said.
He forced a smile now and then while his players answered questions about the Games, but Candrea mostly looked pensive and spoke stoically.
Overwhelming sorrow will strike later. For now, Candrea, 48, is mustering every ounce of concentration to coach this team to its third straight Olympic gold medal. He was named the national team’s coach in May 2002, fulfilling a longtime goal.
“He’s putting on hold his grief,” catcher Stacey Nuveman said. “It’s a testament to what this means to him and to what it meant to his wife as well.”
Sue Candrea, her mother, son Mikel, 24, and daughter Michelle, 22, had planned to join the coach in Athens. Family members insisted Candrea keep his job as the U.S. coach, and his children are expected to attend the team’s opener against Italy on Saturday.
“It really came down to people saying to me, `Don’t even think twice about carrying out this journey,'” Candrea said.
His wife had been at his side in Candrea’s rise to the top as a softball coach. He has been the University of Arizona’s coach for 18 years and has won nearly 1,000 games. His teams have won six college World Series titles and he has been named Pac-10 coach of the year nine times.
At home, however, Candrea always deferred to his wife. Sue Candrea managed the family, their money and all the other details of everyday life.
“She allowed me to pursue my dreams,” Candrea said. “My dreams were to have a family and to try to get to the top of my profession.”
Sometimes, she had a thing or two to say about her husband’s coaching, challenging his decisions with direct questions no one else had the nerve to ask.
“She never let my head get too big,” he said.
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He’s at the pinnacle of his career, but instead of celebrating his accomplishment, he’s seeking solace by coaching some of the world’s best players. He calls the U.S. team, which he coached to a 53-0 record in its pre-Olympic tour, his extended family.
Candrea didn’t accompany the team for its July 29 arrival in Athens, staying behind to be with family. He joined the players three days later, and his appearance alone gave the team an emotional lift.
“The other coaches did their best, but at the same time his presence was missed,” Nuveman said. “Having him back on the field just gave us all a huge boost of confidence and peace of mind. The conductor of our train is back in command.”
Nuveman describes her coach as a man of few words and a father figure.
“He’s a calming presence,” she said. “When he came back we had a renewed sense of purpose. There’s another motivating factor to do it for Sue and to do it for Coach, knowing what he’s doing to be with us.”