Baseball has done a lot of things to drum up interest in the All-Star Game.
Fans can vote. Sluggers can compete. Celebs can–let’s see–they can be celebs. And the the winning league gets home-field advantage in the World Series.
With crazed fans, huge egos, batches of beautiful people and important consequences, why not make the actual game an awards show?
The envelopes, please.
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Biggest boo: For possibly-soon-to-be-fired hometown Astros manager Jimy Williams during opening introductions.
Most Likely to Be Hit Up For a Loan By Friends: The Taco Bell sweepstakes winner, Tom Gray, who threw five strikes for $1 million.
Most Likely to Be Signed as a Reliever by the Indians: The Taco Bell sweepstakes winner, Tom Gray, who threw five strikes for $1 million.
Best Bet To Be Invited to Pitch at Next Year’s HR Derby: Roger Clemens.
More Top Picks Curling Irons
Sweetest New Camera Angle: Dirt cam in front of home plate. At one point, you could see up Manny Ramirez’s nose, if that were something you’d like to do.
Oddest Moment: Fox Sports reported that Ivan Rodriguez likes Yanni’s
music. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Cutest Cartoon: Fox Sports’ talking baseball graphic, “Scooter.” You just wanted to pick him up, pinch his cheeks and smash him about 450 feet, didn’t you?
Red-Carpet Party Crasher: Any of Jason Giambi’s leftover parasites.
Loudest Chicago Shout-out: Oakland pitcher and Thornwood High School product Mark Mulder started the game for the AL.
An Honorary “Chivalry Is Dead” Plaque: To the young man on the third-base line. When a batboy tossed a foul ball to a woman in the stands, the guy snagged it with his glove.
Annual Oprah Award: While chatting up base runner Barry Bonds during a lull, Giambi commented on Bonds’ shoes and then said, “Love you, baby.”
Busiest Inning: Left-fielder Carl Crawford handled the ball on five at-bats (two outs, two singles, one double) in the bottom of the fourth.
The “All My Exes Play in Texas” Moment: Carl Pavano, ex-boyfriend of Alyssa Milano, pitched against Derek Jeter, ex-boyfriend of Mariah Carey.
The Patriotic Warbler Award: To Fantasia Barrino, whose vibrato-heavy national anthem out-quivered fellow “American Idol” Ruben Studdard’s “God Bless America” by most seismic measurements.
MVP: Alfonso Soriano