You would think your one-and-only is always talking glowingly about you to other people. But you would be incorrect, according to a study based on responses of people in their 20s who have been involved for an average of two years.
People usually play down their significant other’s good qualities if talking to a fellow member of the opposite sex–and play those traits up to people of the significant other’s same sex–according to “Providing and Withholding Impression Management Support for Romantic Partners: Gender of the Audience Matters.”
“It’s not that they’re describing them negatively, they’re just strategically changing their description to fit [against] the expectations and desires of this other opposite-sex person,” explained Beth Pontari, an assistant psychology professor at Furman University in Greenville, S.C., who wrote the paper with Barry Schlenker of the University of Florida. “It’s a little subtle,” Pontari added. For instance, instead of admitting that her honey is a creep, a woman would say that her man’s people skills are lacking somewhat.
Pontari also noted, however, that “people who care about one another will do their best to help you come across well socially.”
Pontari doesn’t think she would get the same results with married people: “Perhaps by the time you’re married for a few years, the threat of your partner interacting with someone of the opposite sex isn’t nearly as important to you.”
Or maybe you simply take him or her for granted–which could come back to haunt you, you pinhead.
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