1. What does Howard Dean have to do in Wisconsin?
A. Eat a heavenly brat
B. Say the nation really runs on milk
C. Win
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D. Go ice swimming in Lake Mendota!
2. What might one find in the Bartel Grassland?
A. Bartel Grass
B. Owls and hawks
C. Hidden treasure
D. WMD
3. What’s coming for Cook County smokers?
A. Lung disease, so quit
B. Special smoking zones, so quit
C. An 82-cent-a-pack tax hike, so quit
D. Tobacco-flavored dental floss, so go ahead and quit
4. What has the state of Illinois lost recently?
A. Just about everything
B. Its title as slush kingdom of the Midwest
C. Cheap cigarettes, so quit
D. Its lease on the Thompson Center
5. Who wins in President Bush’s latest budget plan?
A. Texas gets cash in buckets
B. Halliburton becomes a federal agency
C. Defense and homeland security
D. The poor
6. What are the people of Grass Valley, Calif., shedding?
A. In a mysterious annual ritual, their outer skins
B. Four tons of flab
C. Their spouses
D. Their assumptions
7. What Canadian import is pouring into Michigan?
A. Marijuana
B. Trash
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C. Cheese
D. Beer
8. What’s new on the shopping list for cargo pilots?
A. Pistols
B. Pith helmets
C. Better shirts
D. Seat cushions for long, long flights
Who said it?
9. “They never said there was an imminent threat.”
10. College football players got what good news last week?
A. Skip all tests
B. Go for the NFL whenever they want
C. Play without helmets
D. Accept cash from boosters
The answers
Photo: It’s B! Janet bares a breast at the Super Bowl, and suddenly everyone wants to join the party.
1. Win. Politics is not going well for the former Vermont governor, whose flame has faded. He might walk if he doesn’t win the Feb. 17 primary. 2. Hawks and owls love the refurbished prairie in southern Cook County. One advocate says it’s like Florida to them in winter. 3. A big tax hike is on the way, so quit. 4. A. Auditor General William Holland says the state has done so poorly on keeping track of its property it doesn’t even list Abe Lincoln’s tomb. 5. Defense and Homeland Security Departments do very well in the new $2.4 billion spending plan. 6. Four tons of flab it is. 7. Trash. Michigan accepted 43 percent more Canadian trash last year than the year before. 8. Pistols. The federal government says cargo pilots can join passenger pilots in packing heat if they feel it’s necessary. 9. CIA Director George Tenet, explaining what analysts were saying about Iraq before the war. 10. A federal judge ruled that the National Football League must open the draft to all comers.