Not yet a month into Illinois’ new left-lane law, I can report that the right lane on major highways is nearly deserted. At least, that was the lane of choice for passing recently on Interstate Highways 294 and 355. Of course, if drivers were abiding by the new law, the right lane would be packed and the left lane would be open.
The new law declares, basically, that we are to stay out of the left lane unless we are passing. This would serve to keep traffic flowing and probably in safer fashion. We can whine all we want about how this helps speeders, but would we prefer to have the speeders zigzagging pinball style down the interstates, jumping into every available blind spot because other drivers have decided they like the view from the left lane at 45 miles per hour in a 55 zone?
Here’s a rule of thumb: If drivers keep passing us on the right, we’re in the wrong freaking lane! Move to the right!
But improper lane use is merely one of the many impediments to a better flow of life in the Chicago area. Unfortunately, there probably will be no further laws passed to deal with these.
The condiment counter at Starbucks and other coffee emporiums. God knows why, but many coffee drinkers use this counter as a place to pause and reflect. Not only are they stopping to smell the roses, they’re growing the roses, pruning the roses, fertilizing the roses. This counter is where we can pick up the cream, sweetener and stir stick, then move on to another place where we can unpack and prepare our drink. Sure, if no one is waiting, suit yourself. Take the time. Churn the cream into butter. Actually refine sugar. Whittle a few more stir sticks. But at rush hour, we must move our butts.
Just because your wallet has wheels and a long handle does not mean you have to roll it. Wheels on luggage are a huge convenience, especially with big bags that people can actually see. But in an area busy with foot traffic, say the Loop, unless your satchel is at least the size of a sandwich, I won’t see it until after I take a header onto State Street. It’s easy to trip over the 3 pounds of metal framework that drags a 6-ounce bag.
At O’Hare, I’m on guard for even miniature rolling bags, but on crowded city sidewalks they can be a surprise. It’s even more amazing to see people wheeling these things–at all costs–through revolving doors. “No, Edna, don’t pick it up! It has wheels! It must roll!”
As for revolving doors, it’s OK to help push. There is no grand global contest to see who can get through the most doors in a lifetime without actually having to expend energy.
At cash machines, it’s just fine to stand within 30 feet of the person operating the machine. So often the second person in line, just to keep things on the up and up, will stand about 50 yards away. You have my word: If you want to move up to, oh, the 5-foot mark, feel free. If you steal the other person’s card and PIN, I promise I’ll tackle you.
And back to the highway for a couple more nagging safety issues.
Passing is legal on two-lane roads, so it’s best not to speed up to punish and possibly kill the driver passing you. If you wanted to go faster, why didn’t you do that in the first place?
When approaching a tollbooth, just because you realize at the last minute that you actually do have exact change, you needn’t jump across two lanes of traffic so you get to work the machine. Just stay in your manual lane and hand the tollkeeper your exact change. He won’t yell at you.
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Send e-mail for Ross Werland to [email protected].