It all started at last year’s Christmas party.
“Look it all this food,” one reporter said to an editor, scooping an igloo of goat cheese onto my party plate. “I betcha I could live for a week this time of year on nothin’ but free office food.”
A year later, he has to put my money where his pie hole is.
From 9 a.m. Monday until 5 p.m. Friday, The Charlotte Observer’s Jeff Elder attempted to live entirely on free office food. The rules: Only forage within The Charlotte Observer building. No vending machines; no meals at home; no restaurants.
Welcome to “Snack Survivor.”
Monday: I survey the office like a sharp-eyed trapper. Is that a Goldfish cracker on the floor? I smell tuna salad in a desk 20 feet away.
An e-mail: “Come grab a bagel, every-
one …” I’m off.
I’ve scarcely finished my bagel when another message goes out. Leftovers from a holiday party are up for grabs. I am livin’ large, and it’s barely 11 a.m.
Then just as quickly, it stops. My co-workers drift back from lunch, wearing satisfied, crumby grins. The afternoon ticks by and not another morsel.
By 3 I am feeling a tad shaky and facing 20 hours until the next likely windfall.
Tuesday: I head into the office thinking about the bananas on my neighbor’s desk. I haven’t eaten in 18 hours, and a banana sounds like prime rib.
At almost noon I mooch a few pretzels from a co-worker. She finds my enthusiastic appreciation bizarre.
At 1 p.m. my editor swipes for me a heaping plate from a spread in his department: ham, potato salad, bread, salad and cookies.
I’ll live to mooch another day.
Wednesday: Today is the office holiday party. They’re gonna be callin’ me an animal, all right. Do not get your fingers close to my mouth come chow time.
At the buffet, I can’t believe the choices: turkey and ham and fruit and broccoli casserole and cheese and desserts. I finish my plate in 12 minutes and am back for more. Several colleagues raise an eyebrow. One is praising the Atkins diet as he picks through the buffet. Atkins this, pal.
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Thursday: On the car radio, they are talking about cheeseburgers. I want one. It follows me down the highway, an enormous floating fantasy, a cheeseburger blimp.
There are leftovers from last night’s party at work: ham, grapes, Chex mix. Not bad. I bum a cup of coffee from another department.
The big spread of the year is this evening. I’m not the only one in the newsroom who’s excited. We’re like a pack of hyenas snarling to bring down a water buffalo.
At 5 we bring down the beast.
Friday: The tumbleweeds of used party napkins blow through a buffet-barren office. All the salmon has swum upstream. The chicken has taken wings.
Oddly, I think I’ll miss this safari a little. Counting down the hours. Waiting for a lucky catch. The thrill of the kill at the big buffet.
BONUS POLL
63: Percent of employees responding who do not expect to receive a year-end bonus from their employer.
61: Percent who said they did not receive a bonus last year.
67: Percent who say that the current economic climate
and whether or not they receive a year-end bonus will affect their spending on gifts, travel and other holiday expenses.
41: Percent who say they are worse off financially than they were last year.
31: Percent who say they are better off.
28: Percent who say their finances have stayed the same.
Survey conducted on TrueCareers.com included roughly 300 respondents in November 2003.