No matter how you slice ’em, they remain one spectacular show of naked braggadocio–those annual “For Your Consideration” Oscar ads. Every year at this time, the studios spend ungodly sums to toot their own horns in last-ditch attempts to sway members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. We’ll learn whether they’ve succeeded on Feb. 11, when nominations are announced.
Pick up one of the industry trade papers, and you’ll see full-page ads costing $7,000 to $48,000. But the real fun comes not from who’s deserving but rather who isn’t. This year’s desperation bids include some doozies:
– Ralph Fiennes and Emily Watson, the year’s creepiest twosome in “Red Dragon,” for best supporting actor and actress.
– Mick Jagger and James Coburn as, respectively, the over-the-hill pimp and impotent scribe in “The Man From Elysian Fields,” easily one of the year’s worst films.
– Matthew Lillard for best actor for his retro-pothead in “Scooby-Doo.”
– Hugh Grant and Sandra Bullock for “Two Weeks Notice,” which seemed like three.
– Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal for the year’s worst sequel, “Analyze That,” also being pitched for best picture and director.
– Mel Gibson doing his best clenched-teeth, follow-me-boys John Wayne impression in “We Were Soldiers.”
– Madonna for her “Die Another Day” theme song, which swept no one away.
– Disney’s biggest animated flop ever, “Treasure Planet,” for best animated feature, director, score and a passel of others.
– Andy Serkis, the human model for the digitized Gollum in “Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,” for best synthetic–make that supporting–actor.