Editor’s Note: Hundreds of Ann Landers’ loyal readers have requested that newspapers continue to publish her columns of the past 47 years. This letter originally appeared in 1996.
Dear Ann Landers: I am a 15-year-old girl who lives in Danbury, Conn., and have been reading your column ever since I was 11. I understand almost everything you write about, but please tell me, what is Burma Shave? It is not in the dictionary. All I could find is Burma — a country in Southeast Asia now called Myanmar.
I asked my parents, who are 43 years old, and they have never heard of Burma Shave either. Please explain.
— Betty, A Longtime Reader
Dear Betty: Long before electric razors and disposable blades came along, men had to shave with a cream that lathered up. One of the most popular of these shaving creams was Burma Shave.
The manufacturers of Burma Shave advertised their product by putting up signs along the nation’s highways. They were usually funny lines that rhymed. Each sign had one line, and as you traveled the highway, you would read another line every few seconds. Some time ago, a reader sent in a Burma Shave rhyme, and I printed it. That opened the floodgates. Thousands of people have sent me their favorites, and I have printed several.
Today, I am going to print the ones I like best, and then, there will be no more. I promise. Ready? Here goes:
When you’re frisky, From whiskey,
Don’t drive ’cause, It’s risky.
More Top Picks Led Face Masks
Sent by Pat S., Janesville, Wis.
Does your husband, Hate to shave?
Grunt and grumble? Rant and rave?
Shoot the brute some Burma Shave.
Jean T., Santa Fe, N.M.
Rip a fender, Off your car?
Mail it in, For a half-pound jar
of Burma Shave.
A “Yooper” from Michigan
He had the ring, He had the flat.
She felt his chin, And that was that.
Get him some Burma Shave.
Ruth S., Roselle, N.J.
The poorest guy, In the human race
Can have a million-dollar face, with Burma Shave.
John V. Cody, Lynnfield, Mass.
Drinking drivers, nothing worse.
They put the quart before the hearse.
Sandy in Escondido, Calif.
Don’t stick your elbow, Out too far.
It might go home, In another car.
Ruth S., Stoughton, Wis.
Her chariot, raced at eighty per.
They hauled away, What had Ben Hur.
David S., Vancouver, Wash.
Beneath this stone, Lies Elmer Gush.
Tickled to death, By his shaving brush.
Dr. Frank A., Corsicana, Texas
More Top Picks Best Dip Belts For Weighted Dips
The whale put Jonah, Down the hatch
But coughed him up, Because he scratched.
Robert D., Guerneville, Calif.
Said Juliet to Romeo,
If you don’t shave, Go homeo.
Ducky in Oil City, Pa.
Hello, folks — this is Ann. Had enough? So have I. Thanks for the memories.
———-
To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.