If you think “love” is the most over-used word in the English language, think again. If you had been reading my mail, you would think the two most over-used and misunderstood words are “soul mate.”
Katie and Kyle started to think they were soul mates just weeks after they were introduced.
“Within two weeks of when we met, we joked about getting married, but he was serious.” Why, you might wonder, did they think about spending their lives together so soon?
“We had so much in common and a sixth sense about what the other was thinking and feeling. We were dynamite together. A walk hand-in-hand through a superstore was almost as good as a trip to the islands.”
And there was something quite magical about their connection. Kyle was able to accomplish incredible, mysterious things. “He actually healed my nearly broken, sprained ankle, swollen to twice its size. Within 30 minutes of his working on it, I could walk. The bruising went away and I spent the rest of the day wallpapering and cleaning his place.”
And then the magic ran out . . .
The magic, the connection, the miracle continued for two years, until. . . . “He had to relocate to Washington, D.C., to find work. I lost my job and had to move to Chicago because of family problems. He urged me to consider giving up my dogs rather than see them `suffer’ in an apartment. During the hectic months around the move, I failed to notice that `You’re the most wonderful woman in the world and I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ turned into a discussion on my deficiencies.”
There was a major problem. When they met, Kyle talked about their getting married. Now, two years into the relationship, he was singing a different tune. Katie told him she wouldn’t move to Washington, D.C., to be with him without being married. He hemmed and hawed. “Still, he continued to insist that we were soul mates.”
Then, four days later, he sent her an e-mail telling her they were in “different places,” although she would always be his best friend.
“Keeping the dogs was my smartest move.”
Bambi has a seven-year itch
Bambi had taken a seven-year break from dating to raise her daughter. It wasn’t until her daughter was a senior in high school and Bambi realized that she would be leaving home in a year that she decided it might be time to begin dating again.
“I wondered how I would meet my soul mate since I didn’t go to church or bars. I decided to try surfing the dating Web sites.”
Bambi began answering ads. She met several men and started dating one. But he wasn’t what she was looking for — her soul mate — so she ended the relationship. Then she decided to run her own ad.
“I was inundated with responses, but I rejected all but one. The man I chose said that my photo looked familiar. I sent him a photo of me as a teenager and he said we had dated when we were kids. He sent me his name.”
Bambi recognized the name immediately. She gave him her phone number and he called her immediately. They talked for hours and made plans to have lunch that weekend. She told him she had a secret to tell him.
He couldn’t stand the suspense
“Tony couldn’t wait till the weekend to see me and he arrived at my place of employment the very next day. The suspense over my 28-year-old secret got to him. He pleaded with me to tell him. I told him I had lost my virginity to him as a teenager.”
That meeting was a year ago. Bambi and Tony believe that destiny brought them together.
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“We believe that the coincidence of our searching for our soul mates online at the same time was fate. It was so easy for me to trust Tony from the beginning since we had initially met many years before. Tony has been open, honest, devoted, loyal, faithful, kind, thoughtful, generous, reliable, dependable and supportive — all the qualities that I desired. He even has the kind of hair and color of eyes that I have always dreamed of having in a significant other. I cannot imagine my life without my wonderful partner, lover, companion and confidante. I have reunited with my soul mate!”
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What professions make the best partners? Doctors, lawyers, teachers, blue-collar workers, pink-collar workers, secretaries, clerks, cops, firemen? Which professions make the worst? Doctors, lawyers, teachers, blue-collar workers, pink-collar workers, secretaries, clerks, cops, firemen? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions, to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the Front, baiduhai, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611 or e-mail [email protected]. All names are changed. Letters cannot be considered without name, address and day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part for any purpose and become the property of the column. Read Tales from the Front every Sunday in Arts & Entertainment and Tuesday and Thursday in Tempo.