Dear Ann Landers: My 3-year-old grandson is in day care while his parents work. When he came home the other day, he had bite marks on his arm. The skin was not broken, but there were obvious teeth marks.
When I called the day-care center, I was told it is perfectly normal for kids to bite each other. The worker told me that the kids also hit, push, shove and scratch each other and this is “normal behavior.” She made sure I understood that my grandson probably provoked the biting.
The worker told me the children will eventually learn better coping skills and stop biting, but I am concerned that this is taken so lightly. She gave me no indication that there would be better supervision in the future, and I am worried that my grandson could develop an infection from the next bite. What should I do?
— Englewood, Fla., Grandma
Dear Grandma: Toddlers often bite, scratch, hit, shove and kick. This is indeed within the bounds of normal behavior for children this age. Of course, that does not make it acceptable behavior. I assume the day-care center has employees who supervise the activities and teach the children that biting is inappropriate. If you are concerned about how these situations are handled, pay a visit to the day-care center, and see for yourself.
Dear Ann Landers: This is in response to “Sleepless in Atlanta,” whose boyfriend, “Trent,” refuses to fall asleep at her apartment. While he occasionally spends the night, he won’t actually close his eyes. He also has a tendency to leave suddenly and not return. You may be right that he has an embarrassing physical problem, but I suspect he is a two-timing rat. Trent leaves “suddenly” because he has another girlfriend on the side and has promised to see her. He doesn’t like to fall asleep because he may not wake up in time for his other date. They rarely stay at Trent’s apartment because the girlfriend is likely to drop by unexpectedly or call late at night. When he stays over at her house, he probably tells his other girlfriend that he is working the night shift or that he is out of town.
“Sleepless” should hire a detective and find out what is really going on.
— Know Better in Augusta, Ga.
Dear Augusta: You may be right, but I still say there’s more to it. If Trent can stay at her place until morning, he may as well get some sleep. Any man who would take such pains to stay awake needs to remain in control. I wonder why.
More Top Picks Best Focus Timers For Adhd
Dear Ann Landers: My neighbor has an 18-year-old daughter who attends a prestigious high school. She was recently notified that the girl will not graduate because she has missed too many days and no longer meets the graduation requirements. She has been given ample opportunity to make up the missed work but has chosen not to.
Her parents informed me today that they still plan on throwing her a graduation party the afternoon her classmates graduate. They have asked me not to tell anyone their daughter did not actually finish school.
This family has always been generous with my children, and I want to reciprocate. Should I attend the party and bring a gift?
— San Jose, Calif., Neighbor
Dear San Jose: The girl still has the opportunity to get her high school diploma, either by attending summer school or applying for her GED. While the parents should not be rewarding her with a party, I see no reason to embarrass anyone. Attend the festivities, and hope she straightens herself out.
———-
Is that Ann Landers column you clipped years ago yellow with age? For a copy of her most frequently requested poems and essays, send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Gems, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $6.25.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.