Dear Ann Landers: Several weeks ago, you printed a letter from “Suffering Too in Alabama,” whose 49-year-old mother has arthritis and hasn’t seen a doctor in five years. As the director of the North Carolina Arthritis Program, I have heard variations on this story many times. It reflects a basic ignorance that nothing can be done about arthritis. This is not the case.
There are more than 100 forms of arthritis, and the treatments vary according to the diagnosis. Unfortunately, many primary care physicians are unfamiliar with rheumatology and misdiagnose the condition, or fail to provide their patients with adequate resources to manage the disease. The only doctors fully trained to distinguish all forms of arthritis are rheumatologists.
Dozens of highly effective arthritis drugs have come out over the past five years, and more continue to be introduced. This woman’s mother should be referred to a rheumatologist immediately. She should also contact a local arthritis support group for help with her depression. For more information, please encourage her to contact the National Arthritis Foundation at 1-800-283-7800 (www.arthritis.org). — Ellen M. Condelli, director, North Carolina Arthritis Program
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Dear Ellen Condelli: Thank you for your excellent suggestions and expert advice. I hope all arthritis sufferers in my reading audience will pay attention and get the help they need. It will improve the quality of their life immensely.
Dear Ann Landers: I was interested in the letter from a reader who suggested children offer to buy family heirlooms from their grandparents instead of letting the old folks sell their possessions because they need the money.
Several years ago, my grandmother was put into a nursing home, and her only son (my uncle) held a household sale. I notified my siblings so they would have an opportunity to purchase anything they held dear. One sister said, “I wish I could afford it, but not right now.” Another rudely informed me, “I have no use for Grandma’s junk.” My brother said, “Thanks, but my wife isn’t interested.”
I bought everything I could get my hands on and cherish those items that my grandmother owned. Now guess who is phoning to say I am selfish because I refuse to divide what I bought and give them their “share.” Now that my siblings are into antiques, they resent the fact that I have more of Grandma’s things than they do. They are behaving like spoiled brats.
I hate family fights, but frankly, I don’t care if I ever see my greedy relatives again. And you can bet they will not inherit anything from me. — Been There, Bought That in Iowa
Dear Iowa: You are under no obligation to share Grandma’s heirlooms with your siblings. They had their chance and didn’t take it. I do hope, however, that you won’t cut them off entirely. Perhaps, in time, they will see things differently. It would be a shame to lose a sibling relationship over money, and it happens too often.
Dear Ann Landers: Would you please tell those inconsiderate carpool drivers not to honk when they pick up their passengers early in the morning? I cannot tell you how many times I have been awakened before 7 a.m. by some idiot who thinks honking repeatedly is a legal right.
Carpool drivers should pull over to the curb and wait. If the passenger is late, they can knock on the door or call on their cell phone. — Honked Out in Houston
Dear Houston: Many cities have noise ordinances. If this happens repeatedly, inform your neighbor in a calm and pleasant voice that you’d appreciate just a little more sack time.