Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I enjoy sleeping in the nude. It makes us feel comfortable and intimate. We have two children, ages 5 and 8, and we are careful to be dressed before they wake up in the morning. Although we do not lock our bedroom door at night, we have taught the children to knock before entering. We keep our bathrobes close by to put on quickly. Last week, our 8-year-old daughter had a bad dream and ran into our room without knocking. She was shocked to see us naked. To make matters worse, she told her grandmother. My mother-in-law has told several friends and family members about our “lewd practice,” making it seem ugly and shameful.
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Please, Ann, what should we do? My husband and I are both embarrassed that it has become everybody’s business.
— A Family Matter in Maryland
Dear Maryland: I continue to be amazed at parents who refuse to lock their bedroom door and then are surprised when the children show up at inconvenient times. Children are unpredictable. If there is a chance they will intrude unexpectedly, believe me, they will find a way.
This is none of your mother-in-law’s business. Ignore her snippy comments, and stop worrying about the friends and relatives. I suspect your daughter has recovered by now. If not, ease her concerns, and explain that sleeping nude is perfectly OK. Meanwhile, lock your door.
Dear Ann Landers: I am a 46-year-old divorced woman and have a crush on a young man who is the same age as my son. I think he is attracted to me as well.
“Jeff” is 21 and knew my son briefly in high school. (They are both in different colleges now.) He often invites me to lunch, and so far, our get-togethers have been innocent. However, he always tells me how good I look, and he has made it quite clear that he is interested in a more intimate relationship.
So far, there has been only conversation. But it could easily lead to something more, and I don’t know how to handle it. Any advice?
— Single in South Carolina
Dear S.C.: There is nothing wrong with dating a younger man. My readers tell me these relationships can work out wonderfully well if both parties can get past the age difference. It is obvious you are flattered by Jeff’s attentions. However, if you do not wish to pursue the matter, you must make it clear that you consider him a platonic friend and wish to keep it that way.
Dear Ann Landers: I was disappointed in your response to “Free in Washington State,” who said an unhappily wed, overweight mother should divorce her husband. You said you are reluctant to tell anyone to get a divorce when there are young children involved. Let me tell you about it from a child’s perspective.
My parents displayed no physical affection toward each other and argued and yelled constantly. My mother finally divorced my father when she realized the example she was setting for her children. It horrified her to think her daughters might someday enter into loveless and unhappy marriages like her own.
I was 8 years old when my parents divorced, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I developed strong relationships with both. My mother is now engaged to a wonderful man — finally setting a good example for us.
Children are not oblivious to what is going on around them. Parents should live their lives the way they want their children to live theirs.
— Ithaca, N.Y.
Dear Ithaca: Most readers agreed with you. I concur that in some instances, children are better off if the parents are divorced. Thank you for making it clear.
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Ann Landers’ booklet “Nuggets and Doozies” has everything from the outrageously funny to the poignantly insightful. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Nuggets, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $6.25.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.