Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I recently began remodeling our house. My father-in-law is an excellent contractor with a wonderful reputation, so we decided to hire him to do the work on our home. This turned out to be a mistake.
Dad is a terrific contractor, but he has specific taste in design and materials. Unfortunately, his taste does not match mine. He likes things that seem old-fashioned to me and tries to steer us toward manufacturers whose lines are limited and boring. When I tell him this is not what I had in mind, he pouts.
Last week, Dad said the cabinets we ordered were poorly made, and he refused to install them. He recommended a manufacturer whose cabinets are the style Dad likes and insisted we get those instead. I was furious, but didn’t want a family fight, so I gave up and had him order the cabinets he wanted.
I have lost my enthusiasm for this house and cannot stand to be home when Dad is working there. My husband doesn’t have the gumption to stand up to him, and everyone else in the family thinks Dad’s taste is wonderful. I don’t want to cause problems, but I’m ready to sell the house and start over. Is there any way to fix this? — Deconstructing in the Midwest
Dear Midwest: Remember the Ann Landers adage: “No one can take advantage of you without your permission.” If your husband is too intimidated by his father to speak up, you must assert yourself. There is nothing wrong with telling Dad, sweetly but emphatically, that you prefer something else. If he pouts, so be it.
Dear Ann Landers: I would like to respond to “Watery Eyes in Fennimore, Wis.,” who complained that movies were too long. She said an intermission would help those who needed to use the restrooms.
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I live in Switzerland where most movies have 20-minute intermissions, followed by commercial announcements to make sure the patrons have time to get back in their seats. This means the film often runs a half-hour over the normal time. If you add the coming attractions, it becomes a three-hour experience for a two-hour film.
These intermissions are interspersed haphazardly and often come in the middle of the action. They always break up the continuity of the movie. Nine times out of 10, there is someone seated in the middle of a row who will return after the film has started. Smokers return reeking of tobacco. Those who visited the concession stand make tremendous amounts of noise eating and drinking.
I realize there are intermissions at plays and concerts, but no one eats during those performances, so there is less disturbance, not to mention less reason to use the restrooms. Also, the intermissions are built into the program and come at appropriate moments. The audience knows what to expect.
A theater recently opened here that shows films without any intermission. I have chosen to patronize that theater instead. I say, stop selling soda and snacks. Moviegoers can then see the entire film and save money too. — Healthier in Geneva
Dear Geneva: I doubt the concession industry will stop serving soda and snacks at theaters. It would cut down drastically on the profits.
Most movies do not require an intermission. The suggestion was only for films over three hours in length. Fortunately, there aren’t too many of them.
Gem of the Day (credit Steven Wright): A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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