Dear Ann Landers: As a parent and a teacher, I read with interest the recent letters outlining what parents should do to help their children succeed, and what teachers need to do to ensure that success. There is a third side to this equation, and that is the student.
It is the student’s job to make school important. Of course, school is not the only important part of the day, but it should be important enough to take seriously.
It is the student’s job to take care of his or her social life outside the classroom and pay attention to the classes while inside the school room.
It is the student’s job to bring school supplies and textbooks to class. They do no good sitting in your house or left in the locker.
It is the student’s job to eat right and get enough sleep. Living off candy bars and dozing through class will not make school easier.
It is the student’s job to let the teacher know when something is too difficult. Teachers really do want their students to succeed, and often we can help when there is a problem at school or at home. Thanks, Ann. Now that everyone knows his or her job, maybe it will make a difference. — Teacher and Parent in Texas
Dear Texas: Your comments, combined with the others, can help parents, teachers and students produce successful, well-educated children. I’m glad you wrote.
Dear Ann Landers: Here’s a big “thank you” for something I read in your column a while back. In September of 1999, my son’s father and I split up. While we were married, he failed to contribute anything to our household, nor did he help care for our baby. My savings had been depleted, and he refused to look for a job. I harbored a lot of resentment toward him. When I couldn’t take it any longer, my son and I moved out and stayed with my mother. I went back to college to get a better job.
I spent a lot of time and energy being angry with my ex-husband for the way he behaved. I was depressed, and my grades were suffering. Six months later, I read a real gem in your column. You said: “Resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head.”
I read that sentence 15 times, and repeated it to myself over and over whenever I felt hurt or angry at my ex. Within a few months, I realized it no longer mattered to me how I got to be where I was in life. It no longer mattered that my ex never asked to see our son or paid child support. I decided it was his problem and he would be the loser in the end.
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So, a huge thank you, Ann, for your wisdom and insight. It started me on the road to healing, and I’m sure it has done the same for many others. — No More Resentment in Salem, Ore.
Dear Salem: What seemed at the time a terrible experience gave you confidence and strength. Another gem for you: “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.” Congratulations on doing just that.
Dear Ann: Your response to “Unbeliever in Maryland” was good. However, I have a better one for the religious bigot who tells you you’re going to hell. Say, “Thank you. I’m so glad we will be neighbors.” — California Reader
Dear California: Bravo for the clever comeback. I couldn’t have said it any better.
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