Dear Ann Landers: Two months ago, I was happily looking forward to my wedding day. The night before the ceremony, my fiance, “Adam,” and I decided to be intimate for the first time. On the way back to his hotel, Adam was killed by a drunk driver. My whole world fell apart.
I have spent the past two months mourning. I assumed my constant nausea was due to stress and depression, but it turns out I am pregnant. Ann, I am a single 21-year-old woman and not sure I should be raising a child on my own. Having a baby is an 18-year commitment, and I do not know if I am up to the challenge. However, this is the last part of Adam I will ever have, and I want to hang on to it. Also, I know how much it will mean to his parents.
Please help me make the right choice, Ann. I am counting on you.
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— Grieving Mother-To-Be in Virginia
Dear Virginia: My heart goes out to you, dear. You are in a rough spot. Please discuss your concerns with a professional, preferably one who specializes in grief therapy. At the moment, you are too overwhelmed to think clearly and in no position to be making such a life-changing decision. Please ask your doctor to refer you to someone, and also contact Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) (www.plannedparenthood.org). They provide excellent counseling for expectant mothers.
Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a letter from a Pasadena, Calif., movie patron who was bothered by noisy kids who are too young to be in the theater. I am a former movie critic, and I also ran the publicity department of a Boston theater chain. There are two reasons this irksome situation is allowed to exist.
1. Multiscreen complexes have allowed exhibitors to cut their staffs, bump qualified union projectionists from booths and replace them with manager-operators. Except for weekends, when staff are at full force, there simply aren’t enough people on duty to police the situation and remove noisy patrons.
2. The dirty secret in many cities is that ushers are often afraid to eject noisy patrons because of the threat of violence. This goes not only for screeching children, but also alcohol drinkers, smokers and people who talk back to the screen. Audiences are aware of this and know they cannot rely on theater staff, so they endure it or, more commonly, never come back to that theater.
Theater conditions are what have driven the over-35 crowd away from first-run movies. In theory, all the theater would have to do is post a sign barring children under age 12 from any movie after 6 p.m. and advising that noisy patrons of any age will be ejected. The reality is, of course, it will never happen.
— Nat Segaloff, Los Angeles
Dear Nat Segaloff: Thank you for your expert take on the situation. It is a sorry state of affairs when movie ushers are so intimidated by loutish patrons that they cannot do their job. For shame.
Dear Ann Landers: I loved the stories about how people get guests to leave when they overstay their welcome. I hope you can print mine.
When I lived in Florida, I dated a University of Miami student who had a one-eyed terrier named D’Artagnan. Without fail, at exactly 11:30 p.m., the dog would come into the room, sit in front of the guest and start to yawn. It was hilarious, and the guests got the message. It sent them out the door chuckling. Even now when I think of it, I laugh.
— Massachusetts Miss
Dear Massachusetts: I hope D’Artagnan got a little something extra in his dinner dish when he pulled that stunt. He deserved it.
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“A Collection of My Favorite Gems of the Day” is the perfect little gift for that special someone who is impossible to buy for. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $5.25 (this includes postage and handling) to: Collection, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562 (in Canada, $6.25). To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.