Dear Ann Landers: I am married to the most beautiful woman in the world. She is my wife, my lover, my confidante and my best friend. I recently attended a wedding, and the groom took me aside and asked for my advice about married bliss. I hope you think my advice is worth passing along, Ann. — Grand Prairie, Texas
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Dear Grand Prairie: I do indeed. Here is your excellent advice:
Always be aware that this life is all you have. Once a minute is gone, there is no way to get it back, no matter how much apologizing or atoning you do.
There will come a time when one of you will lie down for the last time. Only then will you wish you had those hours when, in anger, you didn’t speak to each other. Only then will you remember all the times you spent with friends while your partner waited for you, alone. Only then will you remember the kind words you could have said, but didn’t. Only then will you remember when you could have shown understanding, but displayed anger. Only then will you remember when your partner wanted to talk, but you ignored her.
Only then, when you hold her hand for the final time, will you pray for a little more time, “Please, God — just one more minute.”
Dear Ann Landers: My sister-in-law sends my children birthday cards faithfully. More often than not, she tucks pictures of her children inside the cards. Is it proper etiquette to include pictures of your children in someone else’s birthday card? I can’t help but feel this is my child’s special day and my sister-in-law is somehow “horning in.” What do you say, Ann? — Mom in Upstate New York
Dear Mom: Please don’t make mountains out of molehills. Your sister-in-law most likely wants your children to remember their cousins. A picture helps make the person familiar, especially when you don’t see them often. It sounds as if your sister-in-law wants to maintain a close family relationship. I hope you do too.
Dear Ann Landers: You printed several letters about people who graze on produce while grocery shopping. I have seen worse. I have found empty soda cans on shelves, a single cupcake missing from a package of six and frozen TV dinners left in the canned-food aisle. Please remind your readers that when they steal or waste food, the grocer makes up for it by raising the prices on all the groceries we buy. — Honest in Colorado
Dear Honest: Theft is one of the most common reasons why businesses raise their prices. Anyone who thinks stealing a single cupcake or can of soda is “no big deal” should consider the cost to the store when dozens of people do this every day. Believe me, we are paying for it, one way or another.
Dear Ann Landers: My husband was recently in the hospital for five weeks for chemotherapy treatment. Since flowers are not permitted, I brought framed pictures and snapshots from home and placed them on the window ledge.
I wanted the pictures to remind him of home, loved ones and happy occasions, but they had a secondary effect as well. All the doctors, nurses and aides who came into his room commented on the pictures and tried to identify those who visited him. The photographs encouraged the hospital personnel to view my husband as a real person and not simply as a “patient.” I believe it made a huge difference in his recovery. Please tell your readers to consider it. — Evelyn in New York
Dear Evelyn: What a lovely idea! For those who have relatives in the hospital for an extended period of time, your suggestion can make the time more pleasant for all concerned. Bless you for sharing it with my readers.
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Planning a wedding? What’s right? What’s wrong? “The Ann Landers Guide for Brides” will relieve your anxiety. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Brides, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.