Marti Pechnyo is “sandwiched.” That means she’s responsible both for dependent children and elderly parents.
“I’m stressed on occasion, but I don’t feel lost or overburdened because my company gives me the support I need,” said Pechnyo, associate director of benefits for Kraft Foods Inc., a global food and beverage manufacturing company headquartered in Northfield, Ill.
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Married to Mike Pechnyo, an independent software developer, she has two teenage children. Her parents, who live in Pennsylvania, are retired. Her father is in good health, but her mother has Alzheimer’s.
“It’s hard being so far away, but I go there every two months or so,” said Pechnyo, who has a bachelor’s degree in industrial administration and an MBA. “My father, a retired physician, had been caring for my mother, but recently we all realized they need to move to an assisted living facility.” Kraft helped her research facilities and gave her needed information on caring for parents at a distance.
Then there’s the other half of the sandwich. “When I was hired, my kids were just starting school and I wanted to be available for them,” said Pechnyo. “I specifically asked about flexibility and I definitely have it. I also control my travel–I work one week each month in Canada–but everything at home and with my parents is covered. I’m not available for international placement, but it has not affected my advancement.”
Pechnyo is fortunate. There are an estimated 6 million “sandwiched” workers, and most of them don’t get the support she does. “Employers need to provide more flexibility, and managers need to be more understanding,” said Leslie Hammer, associate professor of psychology at Portland State University in Portland, Ore. “Many firms are on board for child care, but it’s only half the sandwich. They’re slower to understand elder care.”
Hammer, an industrial organization psychologist, is co-author with Margaret Neal of a new report, “Dual-Earner Couples in the `Sandwiched Generation’: How They Manage Work and Family Demands.” Neal is professor of community health at Portland State and affiliated with the school’s Institute on Aging.
Funded by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation, they surveyed 309 sandwiched couples for the report.
“With kids, pressure came just from having responsibility for them while also holding down a job,” said Hammer, who has a doctorate in psychology. “With parents, the challenge was greater because it also involved giving emotional support.”
To meet their family demands, the wife or husband (more often the wife) chose jobs with more flexibility, turned down relocating, decided not to work toward a promotion, refused travel, worked reduced hours, worked opposite shifts from spouses and cut back on their social lives. “Their most successful coping skill was prioritizing their family and work functions,” said the psychologist.
Yet even dual-career couples can’t do it alone. “The country is aging and the number of sandwiched workers will explode,” said Hammer. “Employers need to be sensitive to the growing dependent-care needs of their employees and create family-friendly policies.”
Ilene Kahn, buyer of print supplements for Prentice Hall, a book publishing company based in Upper Saddle River, N.J., is sandwiched between her elderly parents–her mother and father live nearby and she is the first one called when they need assistance– and her children, ages 8 and 12, who want to spend more time with her.
“My immediate supervisor says if my family needs me, I should go,” said Kahn, who is married to Dr. Robert Kahn, an optometrist. “I have the flexibility I need, and I’m grateful for it. But I still feel pulled in different directions.”
Her company, she says, gives helpful seminars on company time about elder care. “I want to grab every opportunity to be with my children because the years with them are so fleeting,” said Kahn. “But I also want to be there for my parents.”
And that’s another definition of being “sandwiched.”
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– Carol Kleiman’s column also appears in Wednesday’s Working section and Sunday’s Business section. Watch her Career Coach segments on CLTV.