Dear Ann Landers: I am the mother of two precious children. I have many friends who are childless and have chosen to remain so. While I respect their decision, they do not respect mine and seem to think it is OK to tell me how to raise my kids. I resent their interference. May I use your column to offer these well-meaning friends some suggestions?
1. If I feel the need for advice on how to raise my children, I will ask someone who has experience in the field. You have had none.
2. When you say, “If I had a child, I would never allow such-and-such,” you sound like a fool. Talk to me again when you have a child, and we’ll compare notes. Parenthood is full of surprises.
3. Do not compare your pets to my children. Enough said.
4. Do not pressure me to let you baby-sit my children, no matter how well-meaning you are. If I need a sitter and am in a spot, I will call you.
5. Remember all the children in the family. If there is an older child or a stepchild, be sure that you do not exclude them.
6. Do not question my parenting decisions. I am doing the best I can and will certainly learn from experience.
7. Do not make a parent feel like a failure because he or she has chosen to stay home and raise the children. This is the most important job in the world, and this is the path I have chosen.
Thanks, Ann, for letting me blow off some steam. — Oklahoma City Mom
Dear Oklahoma: I’m sure every parent will appreciate what you have written. Those who are guilty of thinking they know of a better way to raise someone else’s children should keep your words in mind.
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Dear Ann Landers: What should the mother of the bride do when her daughter does not send out thank-you notes for wedding gifts? My daughter was married four months ago, and she has not yet sent out a single thank-you note. I’ve reminded her several times. She always says she is going to do it, but so far, she has not. I even made a copy of the mailing list, complete with all the addresses, and wrote beside each name the gift that was given. All she has to do is look at the list.
Many of the wedding guests traveled from out of town to attend the festivities and sent lovely gifts as well. It is terribly embarrassing for me to know they have not been thanked. I always helped my children write thank-you notes when they were young, and later, I made sure they wrote their own.
My daughter said she would gladly sign her name if I would write the notes for her, but I refuse to do this. Would I be out of order to send my own thank-you notes to let them know I appreciated their attendance and their gift? — Embarrassed Mother in Texas
Dear Mother: Stay out of it, and let your daughter take her lumps. She and her new husband are responsible for thanking their guests for their generosity, and if they do not have the decency to do so, it is their problem. Don’t make it yours.
Dear Ann Landers: I loved the recent Gems about misinterpreting prayers, such as, “Lead us not into Penn Station, but deliver us some e-mail.” When our daughter was young, she used to say, “Our Father, who Art in Heaven, Hollywood be Thy name.” — Janet in Washington State
Dear Janet: I suspect a lot of people in Hollywood think the same way. Thanks for my laugh for the day.
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