Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a letter from “Needs Advice in California,” whose son stole a pack of video-game cards from a department store. You were right to say the boy needs to return the cards and pay for them. However, please be careful. Some stores have a zero-tolerance policy for theft. That means they will prosecute the child even if payment is offered.
Last year, my 11-year-old son went into a department store with a friend. The friend stole a shirt when my son was not looking. The whole incident was caught on tape. The manager admitted that my child had done nothing wrong, but my son was nonetheless charged with engaging in a felony.
Please, Ann, before taking that child back to the store and admitting he stole something, the parent should call first and find out what the consequences will be. If the store has a zero-tolerance policy, the parent would be better off sending the money anonymously.
— Tried To Do The Right Thing in Texas
Dear Texas: I caught unshirted hell from my readers for telling that parent to say the boy made a “mistake” taking the cards and wants to pay for them. They all said the boy should admit to the manager that he stole the cards.
Unfortunately, gone are the days when the kindly shop proprietor scolded the young perpetrator and punished him by having him sweep the front steps for a month. While this child should be held accountable, I cannot see what good it does to prosecute a 10-year-old boy who is truly remorseful and wants to make amends.
Dear Ann Landers: I have fallen in love with my married boss. I know he feels the same way about me. I have tried to keep my behavior strictly professional, but occasionally we will make eye contact, and all those sensations rush to the surface. To complicate matters, his wife has sought me out as a friend. Based on her behavior, I understand why he turned to me.
How can I get over him?
— Moving in the Wrong Direction in Ohio
Dear Ohio: Look for another job immediately. As long as you are working with this man, you are playing with dynamite. Please get out before it is too late.
Dear Ann Landers: I saw my 7-year-old granddaughter in a column you printed about Attention Deficit Disorder. The woman who wrote said her daughter daydreamed through class, forgot to bring her homework to school and was incapable of taking exams without becoming restless and distracted.
My granddaughter, “Lucy,” was having the same problems. Her teachers were concerned because she could not finish her assignments, she was always late and could never get her shoes on, no matter how much time she had. When I read your column, I thought Lucy should be tested for ADD.
Lucy began her medication at the start of the school year. The teachers and her parents noticed an immediate, positive change in her self-esteem and her interaction in the classroom.
On the first day after school, Lucy told me she finished all her work. She said, “The pills are magic, Grandma. They keep my eyes from seeing to the sides.” She is so excited to discover she can function just like her peers.
Our entire family feels fortunate that we caught this problem early on. As Lucy gets older, she will need to learn coping skills as well, but she will be able to focus now and accomplish so much more than she would have otherwise. Thank you, Ann, for printing that letter.
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— Vancouver, B.C., Grandma
Dear Vancouver: You’re welcome. I love how my readers learn from one another. Give Lucy my best wishes.