Dear Ann Landers: I hope you can help me. Two weeks ago, my best friend, “Bill,” confided that he is interested in a woman who is not his wife. They haven’t done anything serious yet, although he has kissed her. My wife and I have been friends with Bill and his wife for over 10 years, and we both have young children. Bill’s little indiscretion happened while his wife was in the hospital recuperating from back surgery. He went to a party where alcohol flowed freely, and he overimbibed. I told Bill to stop the nonsense immediately. I explained that his short-term fun could cause a great deal of long-term pain and would destroy his family.
Here’s the problem: Several mutual friends saw the way Bill behaved at the party, and rumors have been circulating that he is having an affair. My wife has noticed how distracted I’ve been and wants to know what’s going on. I normally do not keep secrets from my wife, but I am unsure about sharing this information. I believe I would be betraying Bill’s confidence if I told her.
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Please, Ann, help me do the right thing. — East Coast Friend
Dear East Coast Friend: It is perfectly OK to tell your wife you are worried about Bill without divulging the details of his confession. Meanwhile, I hope your friend has the sense to listen to your advice. If not, he is headed for trouble.
Dear Ann Landers: I am a single mother of a 9-year-old girl. I’ll call her “Heather.” Heather’s father has visitation rights every Saturday. Last Saturday when she returned home from her visit, she excitedly showed me her new manicure. I was stunned to see she had beautiful pink nails longer than mine. Apparently, my ex’s girlfriend thought it would be wonderful if the manicurist put nail tips on Heather.
I am not pleased that my ex-husband thinks it is OK for a 9-year-old girl to have professionally applied nail tips. What will he do next? Get her a tattoo? I am disturbed by his lack of judgment, but if I say anything, he will undoubtedly claim I am overreacting. Is there anything I can do to let him know he has overstepped his boundaries? — Upset in Upstate New York
Dear Upstate N.Y.: Don’t allow this little escapade to get under your skin. Heather will soon discover how inconvenient long, artificial nails can be when she wants to play with her friends.
Meanwhile, have a calm, rational talk with your ex-husband. Tell him you understand this was intended to be a fun “bonding” experience, but in the future, you hope he will discuss such things with you beforehand. Then, let it go.
Dear Ann Landers: When I graduated from college seven years ago, I bought an adorable puppy and named her “Emily,” my all-time favorite name. I am now married and pregnant with my first child. I already know the baby is a girl. “Emily” is still my favorite name. There are no guarantees that I will become pregnant again, or that the baby would be another girl.
Would it be wrong to name my daughter Emily, even though my dog has the same name? — Emily’s Mom in Michigan
Dear Emily’s Mom: Yes, it would be wrong. Do your daughter a favor and give her a name that isn’t a hand-me-down from the family pet. It will save you a lot of confusion and aggravation down the road.
Gem of the Day: It may not get any easier to resist temptation as you get older, but at least you won’t have to do it as often.
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