Dear Ann Landers: Last year, I watched my boyfriend drink alcohol a couple of times a week until he was intoxicated. One day when I went into the garage, I noticed a beer bottle he had hidden behind his toolbox. It made me think he must feel guilty about his drinking.
I took the National Alcohol Screening Test, which you have mentioned in your column. I answered the questions as if my boyfriend were taking the test. The results indicated he was headed for serious trouble. I used this information to talk to him about the frequency and excessiveness of his drinking. Our conversations have helped him cut down considerably. He had not been aware of how risky his behavior was or what signs to look for. The screening gave us the knowledge we needed to draw the line and set some limits.
I think everyone who drinks should be screened. If you are worried about someone close to you, the screening can help answer your questions. It’s easy, it’s free, and it helped me help someone I love. Thanks, Ann. — Lisa in Anchorage, Alaska
Dear Lisa: Thank you for the opportunity once again to mention National Alcohol Screening Day, which will take place across the country on Thursday, April 11. There will be more than 2,000 screening sites where people can hear an educational presentation, watch a video, complete a screening questionnaire and meet individually with a clinician. Information will include definitions of at-risk drinking, how drinking affects physical illness and interacts with medications, definitions of alcohol abuse and alcoholism, and treatments for alcohol problems.
An estimated 25 percent of American adults either have alcohol-related problems or report drinking patterns that put them at risk. Relatively low levels of alcohol consumption may increase the risk for auto accidents, medical interactions, birth defects, strokes and certain cancers. Forty percent of all traffic crash fatalities in 2000 involved alcohol, and it is a factor in a large proportion of deaths from falls, burns and drownings. Hazardous drinking is involved in about a third of suicides, half of homicides and a third of child-abuse cases. Binge-drinking among college fraternity and sorority members is appalling.
Anyone who has an alcohol problem or is close to someone who drinks should call today to find a screening site in your area. The number is 1-800-697-6700 (www.mentalhealthscreening.org). Do it today.
Dear Ann Landers: My brother and his wife recently bought their first house. I wanted to get them a housewarming gift, but I had no idea what they might need or like. I called my brother and said, “Please give me a list of suggestions.” I expected him to say they wanted a new blender or a set of serving bowls. Instead, he told me they wanted a new washing machine — and he was quite specific about the brand. Ann, I don’t have that kind of money and had no intention of spending so much on a housewarming gift. When I said so, he replied, “My wife will be very disappointed.” We exchanged a few unpleasant words and hung up.
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I have called him twice since then and left messages on his answering machine, but he hasn’t called back. Should I bite the bullet and send the washing machine? Should I send something more affordable and hope they like it? I want to be on speaking terms with my brother. How do I fix this? — Not Rich in California
Dear Not Rich: Your brother should not have asked you for such an expensive gift. You do not owe him a present, but if sending a set of mixing bowls will make you feel better, go ahead and do it.
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