Dear Ann Landers: I have been married to “Bill” for seven years, and we have two beautiful children. Bill is kind, generous, funny, caring and a terrific father. So what’s my problem? I don’t love him.
I got married because I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend, “Randy.” Out of anger and spite, I slept with Bill and got pregnant. Randy asked me to abort the baby, but I wouldn’t do it. He said he didn’t want to raise another man’s child, so I married Bill and didn’t look back. I thought I was doing the right thing.
I ran into Randy a year ago, and all those feelings came back. Since then, I cry myself to sleep every night thinking of him. A mutual friend said Randy still loves me and wants me back. I don’t know what to do, Ann. I miss being in love, and I want to have that feeling again. I don’t know how long I can continue to live with Bill under these circumstances. Please help me. I’m . . .
— Heartbroken in Connecticut
Dear Connecticut: It’s time to grow up and put your girlish dreams behind you. The dizzy, exciting, heart-pounding feeling of love does not last forever. In a good relationship, it deepens and provides a sense of security.
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Please don’t risk a solid marriage and the well-being of two beautiful children for a fling with Randy. Make an appointment with a marriage counselor who can help you appreciate what you have with Bill before you throw it away.
Dear Ann Landers: I’d like to respond to “Seen It Too Often in Baton Rouge, La.,” who saw a customer eating cherries in the grocery store without paying for them. You can test-drive a car, try on a blouse or play with stereo equipment before buying these items. The grocery store is one of the few retail businesses that does not allow the consumer to check out the product before purchase.
If I am paying top dollar for those cherries and grapes, you’d better believe I’m going to taste a few before I buy a bunch. I’m tired of taking home grapes that are sour and cherries that have no taste. I spend almost $150 a week on groceries. The least the store can do is offer a free sample of the produce.
I am not teaching my children to steal. I am teaching them to be smart consumers. —
Taste Driver in Colorado
Dear Colorado: Most grocery stores do not object if you eat one grape or cherry. In fact, many stores openly offer free samples. It’s nibbling a half-pound that creates problems. Here’s one more on the subject:
Dear Ann: When I read about the woman who was eating cherries in the produce department, it reminded me of a class project I did in college. With the consent of the store manager, our group would “steal” items in full view of other customers, making sure we were seen.
After two hours, only one person had alerted the store manager of the theft. The other customers either denied seeing anything, were “minding their own business” or “didn’t want to be a tattletale.”
Often, mothers will keep their toddlers busy with food while shopping and will pay for it when they reach the checkout counter. However, any mother who would feed her child unwashed cherries probably isn’t worried about stealing. When you suspect a crime is taking place, inform someone in authority to monitor the situation. Don’t remain silent. —
Another Viewpoint in Texas
Dear Texas: I wouldn’t want to arrest innocent parents who planned to pay for the grocery items they were feeding their children. However, you are right to say that if someone suspects a crime is taking place, the manager should be notified immediately. Thanks for writing.