Dear Ann Landers: I have been married to “Zeke” for four years. In that time, he has never missed a football, basketball or baseball game on TV. On our last anniversary, he invited a bunch of friends over to watch the NBA Finals. I tried to pry him away from the game, but it was impossible, and I ended up celebrating alone.
I have talked to Zeke about his sports obsession, but he denies there is a problem. He insists I am exaggerating and says he barely watches TV at all.
Ann, this is having a terrible impact on our marriage, and I can’t seem to get through to him. Any suggestions for me? — Sports Widow in Kentucky
Dear Widow: You are not the only woman with this problem. Many decide to learn about their husband’s favorite sports in order to share his enthusiasm. Others make plans to meet their girlfriends for lunch or dinner while hubby is glued to the boob tube.
Zeke’s obsession may be extreme, but he is not going to change if he doesn’t recognize that he has a problem. Only you can decide if this issue is worth risking your marriage for. Meanwhile, ask Zeke to compromise — he can watch any game he likes on Sunday and Monday, but the rest of the week you come first. Perhaps if you make your activities entertaining enough, he won’t find the TV so distracting.
Dear Ann Landers: I am 65 years old, female and newly divorced. I am in excellent health and look years younger. The problem is my hair. It is baby fine and thinning on top. I have tried all kinds of hairstyles and have been to expensive salons. The answer is always the same, “Sorry, we cannot do anything for you.”
For the last year, I have been wearing wigs. These wigs are fabulous and give me confidence. I always receive lots of compliments when I wear one, and no one can tell it isn’t my real hair.
The problem is, I recently have begun to date and enjoy having a man to escort me to dinner and a movie. I am not involved in an intimate relationship right now, but it could happen in the future. At what point do I tell him I am wearing a wig? Do I wait until we are in bed, and then whip off my hair and yell, “Surprise!”? Should I tack it down with nails? Should I wear a sack over my head?
Please help me out, Ann. I am desperate. — Wiggy in San Diego
More Top Picks How We Test
Dear San Diego: I don’t believe you should wait until you are in bed with a man before telling him the truth. It’s far better to work it into a conversation earlier in the relationship, perhaps after the second date. It is unlikely any decent man will reject you because of your hair, and if he does, good riddance.
Dear Ann Landers: My mother died nine months ago, and my father recently announced he is in love with “Lisa” and will marry soon. I have read your columns saying everyone grieves in his own way, and after much reflection, I decided I am happy he has someone to share his life with. However, I am still hurting over the loss of my mother and am not ready to form a relationship with Lisa.
How can I politely decline getting to know Lisa better? I don’t want to hurt my father, but it’s too soon for me to accept her into my life. Please tell me how to handle this without creating trouble. — Grieving Daughter in Denver
Dear Daughter in Denver: I commend you for being so understanding of your father’s need for companionship. However, if Lisa marries your father, you must welcome her into your home. It does not mean you have stopped grieving. It means you are being supportive of your father. You need not form a close bond with the woman in order to be polite. Please give it your best shot.
———-
Is alcohol ruining your life or the life of a loved one? “Alcoholism: How to Recognize It, How to Deal With It, How to Conquer It” can turn things around. Send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $3.75 (this includes postage and handling) to: Alcohol, c/o Ann Landers, P.O. Box 11562, Chicago, IL 60611-0562. (In Canada, send $4.55.) To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.