Dear Ann Landers: “Frank” and I have been married for four years, and I have known his family since I was a child. I get along OK with his mother, but lately, she has really been bothering me.
My mother-in-law does everything for Frank, and he expects me to do the same. I refuse to baby him. Frank will call me at work and ask me to make a doctor’s appointment for him. When I tell him to make his own appointment, he calls Mama and she does it for him. When we eat dinner at her house, Frank asks me to serve him. If I say, “I can’t. I’m busy with the children,” he asks his mother to do it, and believe me, she is delighted.
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Don’t you think it’s time he learned to do things for himself? Obviously, his mother never finished raising him, but I don’t see why it’s my job to raise a grown man. I have two sons, and it bothers me that they may grow up to be like their father.
Tell me, Ann, are all men like this, or did I just get lucky?
— Short Straw in Florida
Dear Short Straw: No, all men are not like this. Frank’s mother has encouraged him to be dependent on her, and now, you are paying the price. When Frank is with you, insist that he act like a responsible adult. If Mama wants to wait on him hand and foot, let her, but there is no reason for you to fall into that trap.
Dear Ann Landers: Would you please tell me why people insist on bringing their young children to adult movies? These kids are 2 or 3 years old and not able to sit through a two-hour feature. I love kids, Ann, but they don’t belong at movies they cannot possibly understand, at a time when they ought to be in bed.
Last week, a toddler sitting in front of me was so frightened by a scene in the film that she screamed for the rest of the movie. One mother spent at least 10 minutes scolding her children for making noise and telling them how “disappointed” she was because they couldn’t sit still. What idiot parent thinks her toddler can sit still for 90 minutes or more?
These children ruin the film for the rest of the audience. Meanwhile, the kids are not enjoying the movie, and their parents are frazzled trying to keep them quiet.
There are plenty of movies made specifically for young children, and parents can take little ones to a matinee, where the noise will be tolerated. Otherwise, tell them to hire a baby-sitter.
— Fed Up in Pasadena, Calif.
Dear Fed Up: I do not recommend bringing a child under the age of 3 to a movie of any kind. Children between the ages of 3 and 8 should be taken to age-appropriate children’s films, and only during daylight hours.
Too many parents overestimate their child’s ability to sit still. Please, folks, be considerate of other moviegoers. Hire a baby-sitter. If you cannot do that, stay home and rent a video. The kids will grow up soon enough.
Dear Ann Landers: This is for “Feeling Hurt in Florida,” whose husband refuses to wear his wedding ring.
I had been married for one month when my husband removed his wedding band, saying he “didn’t want to risk losing it.” I never saw it again. After 25 years, I decided I would take mine off too. When he asked, “Where’s your wedding ring?” I used one of his favorite quotes and replied, “We are just as married without a ring.”
It took less than a week for my husband to buy a set of matching bands for our next anniversary. We were married 50 years last July.
— Figured It Out in Texas
Dear Texas: Glad you “figured it out” — and it took you only 25 years. Congratulations.