The potential barrage of emotions include persistent sadness, temper flares, alternating feelings of hope, helplessness and anger, and renewed sorrow about past personal losses, such as the death of a parent.
Simple things, playing with your child or taking a quiet walk, might take on new importance and a sense of preciousness, the experts say. But these feelings may be tempered by survivor anxiety, the realization that victims can no longer enjoy these pleasures, or full-blown worry about the fight ahead against terrorism.
Coping with fear
“Most people are scared to death in their hearts,” said Pat Larson, who annually counsels 200 family members of drunken-driving victims. “When I watched those buildings come down, all I could think of was how, for each victim, there will be 10 people, immediate family members, who will never really get over this.”
The natural inclination might be to deny these fears and focus solely on tasks ahead, but psychologists urge taking time to reflect on the enormity of the week’s events, perhaps by participating in the vigils that can provide some solace.
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Particularly now that reservists are preparing for expected duty, it is important for parents to be calm with their children and encourage them to talk about their fears, said Ronald Davidson, director of the mental health policy program at the University of Illinois at Chicago.
“The lesson Israeli psychologists have learned is that children take cues from adults, especially their mothers, so if kids see parents master their anxiety, they will recover more quickly emotionally,” said Davidson, a psychologist who has 25 years’ experience working with children and adolescents.
But that is easier said than done, according to Davidson and others who have studied the stress caused by catastrophic events such as hurricanes, school shootings, drunken-driving deaths and even the 1986 space shuttle Challenger explosion.
Stages of grief
Survivors typically go through stages, from shock and confusion, to sadness and anger, to hope and determination, said Ellin Bloch, psychologist and director of the clinical PhD program at Alliant International University in Los Angeles.
But the savage nature of Tuesday’s attack will make it more difficult for people to stop feeling vulnerable, said Bloch, who helped set up a support network for soldiers in the Persian Gulf War.
Natural or industrial catastrophes usually focus on a single event that can be attributed to an accident or act of God. But Tuesday’s terrorist acts are difficult for even seasoned professionals to comprehend, or for clergy to explain.
“I tell people that we need to look at the God of history, that there have been some very traumatic situations for us and he has pulled us out,” said Rev. Edward Cronin, pastor of St. Alexander Church in Palos Heights, a community that began monthly dialogues between Muslim and Christian families in 2000 after a controversy over a planned mosque.
Studies of post-traumatic stress in victims of disaster show that people who had good coping skills to begin with are better able to withstand sudden and tragic losses. But even that resiliency can be stretched too far if the tragic events continue.
Children vulnerable
Children may be particularly vulnerable, Davidson said. Research shows that parents and teachers tend to underreport how stressed children may be feeling, he said. Parents may minimize or deny their children’s symptoms, such as sleeplessness, because they are overwhelmed by their own anxiety, he said.
According to a 1994 study led by the Georgetown University School of Medicine, female disaster victims tend to exhibit anxiety or depression, while men are more likely to be hostile or abuse alcohol.
Researchers found that married women and single parents may be more vulnerable to the emotional effects because they already have a number of emotional and physical demands.
In Bloch’s experience counseling soldiers and victims of violent crime, most eventually regain a sense of confidence and a “new” normalcy.
Bloch predicted people will gravitate toward familiar routines.
“We really need the illusions that we are safe or we would never go out of our homes,” she said.
“Illusions are very important for human survival.”
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Where to find help
For more advice about coping in the wake of Tuesday’s attack, here is a partial list of resources:
– International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies; 60 Revere Drive, Suite 500; Northbrook, IL 60062; 847-480-9028; www.istss.org
– National Institute of Mental Health, Information Resources and Inquiries Branch; 6001 Executive Blvd., Room 8184; Bethesda, MD 20892-9663; 301-443-4513; www.nimh.nih.gov
– American Psychological Association; 750 1st St., NE; Washington, DC 20002; 202-336-5500; www.apa.org
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– American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry; 3615 Wisconsin Ave., NW; Washington, DC 20016-3007; 202-966-7300; www.aacap.org