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In the old days, it wasn’t that hard to succeed as a merchant. Sell the best product or offer the lowest prices, and customers would beat a path to your door.

But shoppers are more complicated today, and they are looking for more from their stores. They want to be treated with respect. They need to feel good about their shopping experience. And they’re looking to connect with a merchant on an emotional, philosophical level that transcends both price and product.

“Our priorities have shifted,” says Fred Crawford, president of the consumer products division at Cap Gemini Ernst & Young, a national consulting firm.

Crawford and his team didn’t just make up this touchy-feely stuff. They questioned 5,000 people about their shopping habits and were quite surprised to find that shoppers were motivated by more than just screaming bargains and new gadgets.

“The survey results told us people are looking for values, not just value,” Crawford and Ryan Mathews wrote in their new book, “The Myth of Excellence: Why Great Companies Never Try to Be Best at Everything.”

What is driving the change? Nothing less than our stressed-out, overworked, high-tech society, in which families often are fractured and institutions such as churches wield less power.

“It’s a real witches brew–people are informed and aware but cynical and confused,” Crawford told us recently.

The upshot of all this angst is that merchants need to rethink how they compete.

A few already have figured it out. Take Saturn, the moderate-price car division of General Motors Corp. From the beginning, the carmaker promised a no-haggle, fair deal to customers. It particularly reached out to women shoppers with a frank acknowledgment that most car salesmen treated them like suckers and a promise not to do so.

And it celebrated the attachment customers had to their vehicles with an annual Saturn reunion. Saturn is a perfect example of how to “take an average product and create a success story by appealing to values,” Crawford says.

Then there’s Starbucks. The Seattle-based company created cachet for a no-pizazz product like coffee and turned it into something people lined up to pay $3.50 a cup for. How did they do it? They created a relaxing environment, hired educated people to work behind the counter and trained them to remember customers and their orders.

That feeling of being recognized and welcomed is easily worth the price of a mocha frappuccino with extra whipped cream, Crawford says.

So what should other retailers do? Here’s Cap Gemini’s advice: Figure out what customers already are giving you credit for, and do more of it. But don’t try to be all things to all people. If a retailer is known for having unusual products, such as Williams-Sonoma or Hammacher Schlemmer & Co., don’t worry about having the lowest prices, too.

If you’re known for having great service, such as Nordstrom, run with that. Or if your strong suit is easy access, such as Amazon.com or Walgreen Co., keep making the shopping process easier.

If you don’t, customers won’t love you anymore, Crawford warns. And in today’s fast-pace world, retail alienation can quickly prove fatal.

Staying power: It’s a milestone that few people in the corporate world, let alone the fashion world, ever achieve: 45 years working for the same company.

That’s what Nena Ivon, director of fashion and special events for Saks Fifth Avenue in Chicago, has done. She was hired for summer work by Chicago’s Saks store in 1956 when she was still in high school. “I put on my gloves and hat and rode the bus downtown. It was my first stop,” Ivon remembers.

And her last, so to speak.

After a year selling “debutante sportswear,” Ivon moved into the special events office, and she has been there since, coordinating trunk shows, hosting black-tie events and humoring the occasional cantankerous designer.

“Nena is one who goes 102 percent on everything she does,” says Dorothy Fuller, president of the Apparel Industry Board Inc. in Chicago. “She is a credit to the city.” Adds Susan Glick, fashion director of the Chicago Apparel Center: “Her illustrious career with Saks is defined by her fierce dedication, loyalty and sense of unerring style. Saks Fifth Avenue and Nena Ivon, a perfect pair.”

Saks Inc.’s top management has plenty of serious business issues to handle these days, but they weren’t too busy to note Ivon’s anniversary. They recently flew her to New York for the weekend and held a fancy lunch in her honor at the Four Seasons Hotel, complete with lots of toasts and reminiscences.

“That’s why I’ve been here so long. It’s how the company is,” says Ivon, who has no plans to retire anytime soon. “I’ll stay as long as they let me. Obviously, I like it, or I wouldn’t be here.”

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