The latest urban legend emblazoned on various Web sites and snaking its way through e-mail lists involves “actual one-line statements” from employee performance reviews:
– This employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
– I would not allow this employee to breed.
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– Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
– He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
– He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
– This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t-be.
– When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously there.
– This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
– If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.