Once upon a time, Rob Becker told his son a bedtime story about monsters who made noises that sounded suspiciously like the car horns, radiators and squealing brakes that emenated from the busy intersection of Broadway and 67th in New York City, where Becker was performing his hit one-man show “Defending the Caveman.”
“He really liked the story better if the father would come into the little boy’s room, find the monster, beat him up, tear his head off, throw him in the ocean, he would sink to the bottom of the ocean and never be heard from again,” Becker says. “This would calm him down and then he could sleep.”
The tale took a strange turn when Becker threw out his back while playing in a softball game between his crew — and because it is a one-man show there were only a few people in that crew — and a team made up of players from “Beauty & the Beast” and “Grease.” (The productions couldn’t scare up enough people individually, so they combined efforts.)
When Becker came in to tell his son a story, the kid was especially restless, if not downright pensive.
“He didn’t want to go to sleep,” Becker remembers. “I said `What’s the matter?’ and he kept looking at me funny. I’d go, `I get it, you don’t think I can take a monster.
” `I’m your dad, I’m big, I’m strong, even with a bad back I could still take a monster.’ And he just, like, shook his head at me, like `Look, man, just because I’m little doesn’t mean I’m dumb.’ “
Becker says his son then asked him a question that revealed the true nature of the apprehension: “He said, `Can you throw me in the air?’ And that’s when it hit me.
“I said, `I can’t throw you in the air right now, but I can still take a monster.’ And that’s when he was like, `Aw, buddy, you can’t believe you’re doing this to me, you would lie to me like that.’
“I realized that for him, his security revolved around my ability to throw him in the air.”
Now, there are several morals to this story.
Becker realized that for kids, and especially for dads, a toss in the air is more than just a joyride. For the child, it means that if you can throw him, you’re strong enough to throw anyone.
For the dad, “it’s to say look, I’m big and I’m strong, and I can catch you if you fall,” says Becker, 44. “And you’re in good hands here.”
The second moral is less deep — the story represents an example of where his next one-man show, tentatively titled “Cave Dad,” is going.
Becker, a comic since 1981, is currently working on the show, which is probably a few years away from completion. But it basically takes the premise of “Caveman” — the ever-changing dynamics between men and women — to its next logical step.
“This show [“Caveman”] is about how men and women make relationships differently and how that causes us to misunderstand each other. And it comes from a point of view that men need to be explained to women. And I think the same thing is true between mothers and fathers. I think we parent differently.”
The father of three says men in particular are viewed differently as dads. In effect, they’re treated as if they’re on “parole — you’re always under suspicion, and when you come home, you always have to answer a lot of questions.”
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Becker, who was born in San Jose, Calif., explains: “I think we just have sort of a natural bias against fathers. If you think about it, if you see a small child crying next to a woman, don’t you think, `That poor woman, that kid is just driving her nuts’? But if you see a small child crying next to a man, you always think, `What did that guy do to that kid?’ “
Those are some of the insights that Becker plans to present in “Cave Dad.” In the meantime, he’s still having a ball with “Caveman,” a play that showed comedians how they can get out of smoky comedy clubs and be successful in the theater.
Becker has been doing the play since 1991. These days he gets to enjoy breaks between tours. He estimates he goes out every 20 weeks or so.
The show is so much fun and has been so successful that it allows Becker to bypass the dream that many comics share and that he probably could attain if he wanted: television stardom.
Becker says he gets approached about doing a TV show “off an on.” And he admits that when he first launched “Caveman,” he hoped it would land him on the small screen.
“My plan was to try and stay with this show and build the audience for it and enjoy this ride, and then at some point when this was over, turn to television,” he says.
But Becker had a happy circumstance occur: “Caveman” became a hit, and as a result, “I don’t feel like I need to do television.”
Besides, he notes, the friends he has that are on TV don’t find it very fun work, what with network executives butting in, producers and writers changing things and contending that it’s funny when it’s not, and having to cater to focus groups and advertisers.
But Becker, in true “Cave Dad” fashion, has another, more intriguing, reason for shunning television.
“Part of the deal I made with my family was that if they followed me along on this journey, that we could all end up living here in northern California and be very happy together, with me only working part of the year.
“And then to get to this point now and then go, `You know what, I was just kidding you. Daddy wants to do a sitcom, so we’re all going to move back to Los Angeles, and when we get there, I’ll be working six days a week and 12 hours a day, and I’ll probably be really miserable most of the time, but Daddy needs to be more famous.’
“So at this point I don’t really see myself doing television work. I kind of lost my urge.”
“Rob Becker’s Defending the Caveman”is scheduled to runTuesday-Feb. 11 at the Ford Center for the Performing Arts of the Oriental Theatre, and then it hits the Rosemont Theatre, Rosemont, Feb. 23-25. Tickets are available through all Ticketmaster locations or by phone, at 312-559-1212.
The stand-up lineup
Here’s who’s working at the comedy clubs. Current sets are scheduled to run through Sunday; all new acts begin on Tuesday unless otherwise noted. Lineups are subject to change.
– You have a choice: You can either choose the relatively clean and affecting comedy of John Pinette, who headlines Zanies (1548 N. Wells St.; 312-337-4027) on Friday, or you can go nasty with the raunchy puppet team of Otto & George Friday and Saturday at Zanies’ club in Vernon Hills (230 Hawthorn Village Commons; call 847-549-6030).
– Comics Alex Ortiz and Damon Williams are the opening acts Friday and Saturday, respectively, for “Lover Girl” herself — Teena Marie — at the House of Blues, 329 N. Dearborn St.; call 312-923-2000 for more details.
– Mike Toomey, no doubt inspired by Rob Becker’s success, has his own one-man show that is a hit in the Chicago area: “TV & Me,” which on Friday begins a two-week run at Comedy Comedy, 3000 Warrenville Rd. in the Radisson Hotel Lisle-Naperville, Lisle; call 630-226-9700.