An improbable publication of the U.S. government forced me to forget “Survivor” and contemplate the glory days of a bygone television hit, “Route 66.”
Oh, you remember dashing George Maharis and Martin Milner zipping about in that boxy ’60 Corvette along that most famous of American highways.
I can now report that your tax dollars will go to celebrating a highway.
This grand insight comes my way because of an obvious mental instability prompting me to occasionally peruse the generally impenetrable Federal Register, a softbound, small-print booklet published five days a week by the National Archives and Records Administration.
Forget the claims last week that nothing, absolutely nothing, was happening in the capital, especially in the dog days of summer with Congress still out. This maniacally boring publication, where government agencies quietly stick new regulations and other announcements, reminded me that the bureaucracy is operating and affecting our lives in ways big and small.
For example, I learned that the Energy Department is sponsoring the “2001 American Solar Challenge, a solar-powered car race across the United States.”
It will spend $400,000 for the “planning, management, and conduct” of a race from July 15 through July 25 along “historic Route 66,” starting in Chicago and ending near Los Angeles.
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“Since it follows the old Route 66 and coincides with the 75th anniversary of that famous road, it will be a highly visible event and provide a dramatic, high-technology, futuristic contrast to the nostalgic events surrounding the anniversary,” states the official announcement.
Well, among the other morsels discovered in the Federal Register last week:
-The Federal Aviation Administration has corrected one of its regular “airworthiness directives,” this involving certain Rolls-Royce turbofan engines and a previous FAA statement on fan blade failures. The following correction is needed:
“On page 40983, in the second column, in the SUMMARY section, in the eleventh and twelfth lines, `fan blade failures due to dovetail root cracks’ is corrected to read `fan blade root cracks in a factory engine.'”
Hmmm. Why do I not want to know more?
– The Drug Enforcement Administration is not happy with GMP Productos Quimicos in Medellin, Colombia, the largest importer of potassium permanganate in Colombia. This particular chemical is not produced in South America and, while it is used for many legitimate purposes, it is also used in the manufacture of cocaine.
The problem here involves three separate shipments from China intended to wind up in Colombia but only after stops in Hong Kong and, then, Oakland. The DEA intercepted them in Oakland, then found itself at odds with an administrative law judge who said that the chemicals should be released to the Colombian firm.
The head of the DEA overrules the judge, suspecting potential hanky-panky with the chemicals (“hanky-panky” is an inside Washington term known only to a few cognoscenti and is not used in the very long item on this dispute).
– The International Trade Commission, a branch of the Commerce Department, is extending the time limits for “the fourth new shipper review concurrent with the third annual administrative review of the antidumping duty order on brake rotors from the People’s Republic of China.”
Whew.
– The Agency for International Development will hold a two-day meeting next month of its Malaria Vaccine Advisory Committee. That does sound worthy so why, I asked, will the meeting “be closed to the public”?
The answer came from Carter Diggs, the “designated Federal Officer for the USAID MVDP Federal Advisory Committee at the Office of Health and Nutrition,” who can be found at “USAID/G/PHN/HN/EH, Room 3.07-013, 3rd floor, RRB, Washington, D.C. 20523-3700,” according to the register.
Diggs said there are potential patents that have not been applied for yet, and other “sensitive procurement decisions,” that will be discussed. So if you’re in town those days, you’d be better off going to the Smithsonian’s Air and Space Museum.
– The FAA is proposing to extend for three years safety rules for air tour operators in Hawaii due to a dramatic boom in the tourist industry there and what were sharp hikes during the early 1990s in helicopter and airplane tour flights, as well as 20 air tour accidents and at least 24 fatalities.
“Contributing factors to the causes and seriousness of accidents were: operation beyond the demonstrated performance envelope of the aircraft, inadequate preflight planning for weather and routes, lack of survival equipment, and flying at low altitudes (which does not allow time for recovery or forced landing preparation in the event of a power failure),” the notice indicates.
Thus, next time you hop a chopper to check out the volcanoes on the Big Island, you can apparently be fairly confident of making it back for that $60-a-head luau at the hotel.
– Please inform your beloved poodle that the Animal and Plant Health and Inspection Service of the Agriculture Department is extending the comment period for a possible new definition of the term “distress” when it comes to animals.
But that’s not all from these guys, which you should remember next time you’re in the grocery.
That’s because the agency is proposing to amend the nation’s fruit and vegetable regs to allow into the country certain fruits and vegetables, including marjoram from Argentina, cabbages and broccoli from Costa Rica and passion fruit from Chile.
“However, we believe that eggplant and watermelon from Spain that are not produced in commercial operations are more likely to be infested with plant pests than are eggplant and watermelon that arrived in commercial shipments. Therefore … we are proposing to allow only commercial shipments of those fruits and vegetables to enter the United States.”
– The Army Corps of Engineers is preparing a draft supplemental environmental impact statement for proposed construction of flood control measures along the Upper Des Plaines River at Prospect Heights and Mt. Prospect in Cook County, Ill. “Alternatives under consideration include earthen levees, concrete floodwalls, and temporary road closures.”
– The Postal Service is unabashedly and vigilantly forging onward in its apparent crusade to “remove insecure postage meters from the marketplace with the decertification of mechanical postage meters,” according to the Federal Register.
Seeking to reduce meter fraud, misuse and loss of revenue, it continues with a phaseout of all mechanical meters due to tampering and misuse. It has yanked 776,000 such meters from service.
Now comes its mission for “the retirement of electronic meters that are manually set by postal employees.” We wish them the very best of luck.
– Proving that your government does have a heart, even taste, Helena Kane Finn, acting assistant secretary for educational and cultural affairs at the State Department, has determined that “the objects to be included in the exhibition `From Renoir to Picasso: Masterpieces from the Musee de l’Orangerie,’ imported from abroad for the temporary exhibition without profit within the United States, are of cultural significance.”
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So get your fanny down to the Kimbell Art Museum in Ft. Worth between Nov. 12 and Feb. 25 and look at the pretty pictures.
– The FAA is at it again, with an airworthiness directive for certain General Electric turbofan engines. It calls for ultrasonic inspection of certain high-pressure compressor rotor spools for cracks, all prompted by a Boeing 767 experiencing an “uncontained engine failure during takeoff,” resulting in a “rejected takeoff.”
Interesting. Until now I had assumed “rejected takeoff” was a United Airlines euphemism for yet another canceled flight.
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James Warren and Michael Tackett of the Tribune’s Washington bureau are hosts of “Unconventional Wisdom” at 7:05 p.m. Sundays on WGN-AM 720.