Dear Cheryl: I have a question. Do you think those spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends who are constantly accusing their partner of cheating are actually cheating themselves? My husband is always accusing me, yet he is the one who goes on business trips. Legitimate business, but he could do anything he wants once he walks out of the office and goes to his hotel. It’s making me a little paranoid. Is he always after me because he’s guilty himself? Or is it just insecurity in the marriage?
The Innocent Party
Dear Innocent Party: I think there are several reasons why Partner A. accuses Partner B. of cheating: 1. Partner A. has a suspicious, jealous nature and sees cheating everywhere, even where it doesn’t exist. 2. Partner B. is cheating — or thinking of cheating — and giving off a cheating vibe that Partner A. is picking up on. 3. Partner A. sees a lot of cheating going on around him (co-workers, friends, family members) and worries about his partner. 4. Partner A. is cheating, and cheating is on his mind and he’s projecting it onto his partner. 5. Partner A. is cheating and wants to get caught so he keeps bringing it up to stimulate a discussion. I don’t know what’s going on in your house, but I think you need to ask your husband what’s going on.
More Top Picks Best Polarized Sunglasses Under 150
Dear Cheryl: There happens to be this guy at my train stop who always sits in the same car as me. I’ve been noticing him for quite some time. I sit on the upper level of the car, he sits on the bottom level. A couple of times he surprised me and sat upstairs behind me. When he sat upstairs, I gave him a big smile and said hello. The last time, I said good morning. I think I’ve given him enough hints that I’m interested in meeting him. All I’m waiting for is for him to introduce himself. I’m way too shy to walk over to him.
Too Shy to Say Hi
Dear TSTSH: And what if he’s as shy as you are? Nothing’s going to happen. Try this. The next time you see him at the station, say hi and make some comment about the weather or something in the paper. Then follow him onto the train and sit on the bottom level. Do that for a few days. If he’s receptive, just add, “By the way, my name’s TOO SHY, what’s yours?” After you get that far, we’ll figure out what to do next.
———-
Got a problem? Send your tale, along with your relationship questions, to Cheryl Lavin, Tales from the front, baiduhai, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611 or e-mail [email protected]. All names are changed. Letters cannot be considered without name, address and day and evening phone numbers. Letters may be used in whole or in part for any purpose and become the property of the column. Read Tales from the front every Sunday in Arts & Entertainment and Tuesday and Thursday in Tempo.