Welcome to the WWWF, the World Wedge Waving Federation. Any resemblance to golf or the PGA Championship is incidental, and thank all those Gen-X dudes for that.
Hey, Tiger, give us that definition of a golf “exhibition” again.
“Let me ask you,” Woods said. “Is there a winner’s check?”
No.
“Then it’s an exhibition.”
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Thus is the world of golf defined both before and after Tiger, by the loudest voice, and these days the voice belongs to young Woods. And don’t be springing any of that patriotic twaddle on the Tiger man. He is aware of his responsibilities in such “exhibitions” as the Ryder Cup.
“You are playing for your teammates,” Woods said. “I mean, if I’m playing David (Duval) in an exhibition and I lose, I feel let down with myself, bummed out. But it is just me.
“You play for your teammates, your captain, your wives and girlfriends. Flag.”
The flag is fifth? At least Woods did not squeeze in his limo driver and Phil Knight, the Nike overlord, in front of his flag. So, you see, the younger generation does have a sense of duty.
Ben Crenshaw doesn’t understand them, shouldn’t have to, really, and wouldn’t bother to try if Crenshaw weren’t in charge of recapturing the honor of American golf, a small chore in the scheme of the world’s balance of power. Still, you never know when the pride and self-worth of a nation, or of an entire continent, won’t be decided by a fluffy lie.
“I understand that what we’re doing doesn’t help (team unity),” Woods said.
It is golf’s own fault that it got itself into this position, where the most influential and magnetic figure is a self-advertised recent adult, (“I’m not that old,” Woods keeps saying) rather than a sage and seasoned individual like, say, Crenshaw, a man who appreciates the fact that neither the world nor golf began with his birth.
“One of the true gentlemen of golf,” pronounced Tom Lehman, one of those himself.
The pre-Woods generation had pretty much let the game fall into nonchalance, into the limited realm of hobbyism, had allowed the Senior Tour to become viable, turned dominance of the game over to the Europeans and Greg Norman. American tour golf was full of nondescript, if sincere, men such as Lehman and Crenshaw, identical slices from the same loaf. You know, the Davis Love III years.
And then along comes this kid, the perfect bridge, full of talent and charisma and complicated lineage, saving golf for his own and his father’s time. That’s what we’re seeing at Medinah, an old-fashioned generational war, the codgers and the whippersnappers.
“I’m from a different generation, I guess,” said Crenshaw, 47.
The gap is obvious. It is right there on the leaderboard, happily diverse, from foreign wonder child, 19-year-old Sergio Garcia, to 45-year-old Jay Haas, whose son was his caddy Thursday. Still, golf’s continuity has always been more about father’s country club membership than about fathers and sons.
The preoccupation of this week has been about the kids not paying proper respect to their elders.
What did you and Tom (Watson) chew the fat about during your round, Tiger?
“We didn’t talk that much,” Woods said. “We were both focused on what we had to do.”
Well, what does a kid say to someone who is nearly 50? What’s your favorite flavor of Metamucil?
When Woods is asked, as he often is, what are his chances of matching Jack Nicklaus’ record in major championships, he allows as how it is possible, how he’s got the time left to do it. But just in case he doesn’t, he points out that, back in the old days, when Nicklaus played, he didn’t have the depth of competition that Woods must face.
“He didn’t have too many players coming out of nowhere to win majors,” Woods said.
Does the name Charles Coody ring a bell? Orville Moody? Andy North. Twice? Obviously not. Read a book. No need to have the whole history of the game in your personal library, as Crenshaw does.
You are tempted to hunt up Don King. Surely he must be around here somewhere, lurking under one of those damp elms. This is just too much preciously contrived hype to be innocent. This is sideshow stuff, way beyond your usual birdies and bogeys.
The Ryder Cup and golf itself could not have created this much interest and intrigue if it had meant to, or if it had issued brass knuckles with contestant’s badges.
The network that is doing that event has to be cheering on the network that is doing this one. Bring on more snipers.
“It’s a matter of growing up,” Woods said.
He’s got that right.
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