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player ready...Have you heard that O.J. Simpson is doing television ads again?
No, this is not a joke, although everyone to whom I have asked that question thought at first that it was.
You don’t have to be a marketing genius to know the unwritten rule that says people who endorse goods and services on television have to be cute, cuddly, likable celebrities like Michael Jordan or Tara Lipinski.
O.J. once belonged to that cute-and-cuddly class of people. His multimillion-dollar endorsements for Hertz Rent-A-Car enriched him for more than two decades. Not any more. Most of the country believes he slaughtered his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman. O.J. was acquitted in 1995 of the murders, then found liable for them in a civil trial in which he was ordered to pay $33.5 million in damages.
Who, one wonders, would want an O.J. Simpson endorsement? Ford Bronco? Bruno Magli? Ginsu?
Well, guess what. There is one group of people who would be delighted to have O.J. Simpson’s endorsement:
Lawyers.
Some lawyers, anyway. Here’s where this story really begins to sound like a “Saturday Night Live” skit.
A lawyer-referral service called Justice Media has signed the Juice to do commercials, which the company plans to sell to law firms across the country.
Astonishing? Yes, although nothing defies credibility in an era in which Sen. Bob Dole boasts about taking Viagra and does ads aimed at men with erectile dysfunction. As a former prostate cancer patient and advocate of regular exams for us older guys, Dole has immense credibility on the subject.
By the same measure, who has more credibility when it comes to lawyer shopping than O.J.? His attorney Johnnie Cochran was widely despised for playing the race card in his defense of O.J., but Cochran’s law business boomed. So did his star power, leading to regular jobs on Court TV and Black Entertainment Television cable network. Love Cochran or hate him, when some people are up the creek they don’t care who hands them a paddle. Cochran gave Simpson more than a paddle. He gave him a speedboat, which is precisely what clients want from their lawyer.
Perhaps it was inevitable, then, that other savvy law firms would want to cash in. If they can’t hire Cochran, perhaps they can hire Cochran’s most famous–or should I say infamous–client.
According to news reports, Simpson says he was paid only for his expenses. He says he just wants to help people who need good legal advice.
“The main thing I have learned is (that) you can’t walk into a courtroom without competent legal representation,” Simpson told a reporter in a telephone interview.
Now, there’s an understatement.
A call to Justice Media’s 800-number produced a recording of a woman’s voice that announced the company is not taking cases before May 1. She also announced Justice Media was “seeking out the most outstanding civil trial lawyers who have demonstrated a commitment to the minority community.”
I translate that to mean black folks, two-thirds of whom said in polls at the time of the Simpson verdict that they thought he was not guilty. Subsequent polls showed that black belief in Simpson’s innocence shriveled up a bit after the heat of that historic moment subsided. Still, I have no doubts that Simpson’s endorsement will have great appeal as a symbol of black anger, particularly over police misconduct, a perennial issue in black communities.
The Simpson ad brings to mind the many reasons why so many lawyers objected for so many years to the idea of lawyers advertising on television. They were afraid of something just like this, that the most brazenly greedy and cynical face of the legal world would be broadcast daily through the media.
With that in mind, in this era in which it seems just about anything can be sold by just about anybody, it will be interesting to see how well the Simpson ad goes over. If it succeeds, what next?
Monica Lewinsky endorsing a dry-cleaning service?
Linda Tripp endorsing hearing aids?
Bill Clinton endorsing cigars?
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Former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke, a newly declared Republican candidate for Bob Livingston’s congressional seat, endorsing bedsheets?
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas endorsing canned Coke?
The possibilities that come to mind get worse, but I’ll spare you. Make up your own party game. See how outrageous you can get in thinking up outrageous commercial endorsers. They could hardly get much worse than reality.
If such advertising troubles you, remember this: They, the advertisers, are only trying to sell. The rest of us don’t have to buy.