There is no good time, especially during the holiday season, to discuss the most destructive of all human emotions, hate.
But in the world of sports, room must be cleared for a healthy case of dislike, and that is precisely what’s missing from the local athletic landscape. Specifically, nobody dislikes Chicago teams anymore except us poor mopes in Chicago who have to watch them.
My friend Bernie Lincicome beat me to the word recently. Patronizing. There’s a whole lot of that going on now, and until the Bulls start playing, or the Bears and Blackhawks stop playing, it’s not likely to cease and desist.
Forgive my suspicious ear, but I even detected a condescending tone to the statement released by Mark McGwire after he was swamped by Sammy Sosa in voting for the National League’s Most Valuable Player: “He did a great job of carrying the Cubbies back into the playoffs.”
Probably, McGwire didn’t mean to slight his pal one bit. It’s just that, if you live here, you overreact to anything that wreaks of a tweak. And there was McGwire, patting those adorable “Cubbies” for their season in the sun, a rare foray until next season when order is restored and they return to their proper place, third or fourth.
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St. Louis finished well south of the Cubs in the division for a change, but when was the last time we called them the “Cardsies” and thanked them for being so nice? Or do we already suspect they won’t be quite so cooperative in 1999?
This annoying trend was perpetuated when Jeremy Roenick, of all people, sent the Hawks a Christmas card after he and his Phoenix Coyotes beat them the other night. Roenick expressed heartfelt sympathy for his former team’s pathetic start and assured us that the Hawks will revive any minute.
Save your stamp, Jeremy. And the same goes for all other opponents who routinely flog the Hawks, then salute them for being so precocious and tough and enthusiastic. Any hockey fan with an ounce of reality doesn’t need a 16-ounce Budweiser to chafe over such faint praise.
Yes, half the Hawks are age 23 or under, but that only makes it more mind-blowing that they are so annoyingly listless. If only we were guaranteed that, by the time these prospects reached 25, they could actually skate and pass the puck in something resembling the same breath.
Have you ever seen such young legs seem so stationary? The party line is that these kids are afraid to make mistakes. Try this instead: They don’t play with nearly enough fear. Of losing. Last week the Hawks sunned at a five-star Arizona resort, one star for every victory through two months.
Even when the Bears were 1-13 in 1969, they hurt people. But this group violates the jersey with its softness. On almost every given Sunday, they lose. Then on Monday, it’s the same old bolshoi. They sure do work hard for that terrific coach, Dave Wannstedt. A sleeping giant, that franchise is.
By all means, sleeping. When they were monsters instead of marshmallows, the Bears had bite. Now it’s all bark. By sheer coincidence, Wannstedt’s post-defeat “tirade” in Atlanta was made available for the media. It feels forced and contrived, as does all that applause from around the NFL.
Organizations, like fish, are supposed to rot from the head and the Bears indeed have deteriorated on Michael McCaskey’s watch. But the president, again despised only in Chicago, has bought whatever is requested, whether it’s Rick Mirer, Bryan Cox or a state-of-the-art facility to practice losing.
Dollar Bill Wirtz, meanwhile, can’t even answer to Mr. Cheap Skates anymore. His Hawks have the fifth highest NHL payroll and the third greatest increase since last season. Where do he and McCaskey draw the line between being stingy and being stupid?
At least the Hawks tackle better than the Bears, but until the Bulls swagger like champions again, we’re in deep do-do around here. The only people Chicago teams scare are the people condemned to root for them. Otherwise, our heroes get rave reviews from 49 states, Canada and SportsCenter.
More than ever, this is the city of broad shoulders, narrow trophy cases and sparring partners.