In one of the worst games in recent NFL history, the Bears beat the Rams 13-10 in St. Louis last December. For years to come, people will swear it was the other way around, but you could look it up.
It was on national television on a Sunday night and nobody knows why to this day. They are playing again Sunday in Soldier Field for one reason: the NFL schedule formula makes it mandatory.
Question: Who is in charge of this schedule formula?
Answer: Nobody knows.
Q: Shouldn’t the Rams be able to beat Steve Stenstrom?
A: Funny, that’s exactly what the Bears say about Tony Banks.
Q: Are these the same Rams and Bears who used to have a great rivalry?
A: In 1950 they played in the Western Conference playoff. The Los Angeles Rams had Bob Waterfield and Norm Van Brocklin quarterbacking–two Hall of Famers. The Bears had Johnny Lujack backed up by Sid Luckman and George Blanda–two more Hall of Famers. The Rams had Hall of Fame receivers Tom Fears and Crazy Legs Hirsch. The Bears countered with Hall of Fame linebackers George Connor and Bulldog Turner. They all played in the same game. But we digress.
Q: Is Dick Vermeil still coaching the Rams?
A: As of this writing.
Q: Is his job secure?
A: Here is a vote of confidence just in last week from team President John Shaw: “The last thing we want to do is make a change. And I don’t anticipate that that’s going to happen. I anticipate that he will be supported throughout this year and well into next year, hoping that this thing gets on the right track.”
Q: Didn’t Rich Brooks get fired after only two seasons?
A: True enough, and his record was 13-19. Vermeil is 7-17 after a season and a half, so he needs to go 6-2 down the stretch to match Brooks.
Q: What’s been the main problem?
A: For one thing, Banks has a very short attention span. He has to be reminded often that he’s an NFL quarterback. A couple of weeks ago, for example, he was visiting his girlfriend and forgot to show up at work.
Q: So why don’t they bench him?
A: Van Brocklin and Waterfield retired a long time ago.
Q: Are there other problems?
A: Injuries. Isaac Bruce has a hamstring made out of spaghetti. That means former Bear Ricky Proehl is the go-to receiver after beating out Eddie Kennison. In the last three games, the Rams have scored 0, 10 and 15 points, so they’re improving.
Q: What about the defense?
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A: It’s better than the offense, but there are two guys named Mike Jones on it, which leads to confusion.
Q: What happened to the No. 1 draft choice, Grant Wistrom?
A: He’s the defensive end the Rams took after they couldn’t make a deal with the Bears for Curtis Enis. He’s playing mostly special teams, something John Shaw wonders about after paying him a $6 million signing bonus.
Q: Didn’t they also draft Robert Holcombe, the running back from Illinois?
A: Yes, but he was benched this week. Holcombe had started the last five games, but after gaining 84 yards with two touchdowns in his debut against Arizona, he had only 72 yards on 47 carries in the next four games. So it’s back to Jerald Moore, who fumbled three times in his last start.
Q: So the Rams still wish they had Enis?
A: They would trade him for Wistrom during warmups.
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On the Internet
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