Having arrived in a town already occupied by that master apologist, Dennis Rodman, the Bears’ Curtis Enis will need to be a bit more inventive with his apologies to get anyone to pay attention.
Enis will need to speak a lot louder just to be heard over the occasional mumbled contrition from Albert Belle, who remains in arrears with his regrets.
And Enis is going have to sin a lot more greatly than simply being stupid at business and late to training camp to earn much sympathy around here.
Fumble at the goal line, or head-butt somebody. Kick somebody in the groin. Sit out 1.8 seconds. Or quit, come back and quit again.
Who does Enis think he is, nosing in such grand Chicago traditions?
Try being Tim Floyd. Let a grounder bounce off the heel of your glove. Get caught off second base. Leave the pitcher in.
Throw your chewing gum at a heckler or spit on an official. Barricade yourself in your publicist’s house or wander around in the snow in a hospital gown.
Dishonor is not portable. What was done somewhere else doesn’t count. It is how you screw up here that matters.
Someone ought to send Rodman’s rap sheet to Enis, or Belle’s, or the lately departed Bryan Cox’s, before Enis wastes our time saying he is sorry for insignificant misdemeanors.
Enis will need to have a long career just to match the Bears’ record for individual shame, set in two incomplete seasons by the aforementioned Cox.
Coaching disgrace doesn’t count, but Enis would never catch Mike Ditka anyhow.
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Just exactly what Enis has to be sorry about may be as confusing to him as it is to his new neighbors who greeted him on sight at Soldier Field with loud and lusty disapproval.
A strange week, indeed, when Chicago cheers a St. Louis Cardinal and boos the Bears’ No. 1 draft choice.
Nevertheless, Enis felt it important to say he was sorry for whatever he had done to whomever he had done it and that he would do better.
“I just want to apologize to the fans,” Enis said.
Was it the story in Sports Illustrated? My reading of that story is that Enis had the kind of college life most Bears fans would gladly spend their parents’ money for.
According to SI, Enis drank a little, partied a lot, spent cash he didn’t yet have and didn’t have to graduate to get a good job.
This sounds like the kind of Bear who would be very easy to like. You would think that when Enis showed up, he would have gotten a hand just for raising the bar.
This is a guy to get close to. Maybe he’ll ask you to drive the next time he goes out.
When was Chicago against somebody having a good time? Maybe the booing was out of envy.
There has to be something more. That assault accusation in Texas doesn’t count. Only bail posted in Cook, Lake or DuPage Counties counts.
Religious conversion is nobody’s business; whereas, of course, a two-point conversion is everybody’s business.
Maybe it is just that no one believes Enis is as good as he needs to be. And to save these Bears, Enis would have to be Payton, Sayers and Grange.
I will say that not Rodman, nor Belle, nor Cox, nor Dave Kingman, nor Bob Probert ever got off the bus to boos as Enis has. No one since Quintin Dailey has shown up to such unearned animosity, so Enis does start his career with a certain distinction.
Sorry? Forgive him.
Enis is a rookie and he made the rookie mistake of wasting his regrets too early.