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So, after enduring years of cajoling and arm-twisting, Bud Selig finally relented and became baseball commissioner. Assuming Fay Vincent didn’t leave this in the top drawer before you and your cronies ran him off, here’s an updated commissioner to-do list to save baseball:
– Find someone like Billy Martin to instill some life into these cookie- cutout managers.
– Insist all players take a nickname like Hack Wilson.
– Sue the pants off Mike Ditka if he ever threatens to sing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” again.
– Fine Jim Leyland for not putting Kerry Wood on the NL All-Star team. What is it about marketing that the Marlins manager does not understand?
– Investigate to see if the White Sox have a manager. Or a team.