What passes for intrigue, until the Pacers decide to participate in the playoffs, is in the Bulls’ introductions, whether the announced starter is from Split or Southeastern Oklahoma State, which may be the same place, as far as anyone can tell.
This is known as Phil Jackson’s Doghouse Mystery, Jackson being the author, kennel master and occasional parole officer.
Jackson’s doghouse is a shared address by Toni Kukoc and Dennis Rodman, though for entirely different reasons and nearly never at the same time.
If Kukoc is in there, it is because he has been inadequate. This is not unlike a spare being in the trunk because it is round.
If Rodman is in residence, it is because he has been bad, as bad as he wants to be, which is occasionally worse than even Jackson will allow.
As punishments go, inadequacy does seem to get the worst of it. At least Kukoc takes it harder.
Jackson can shrivel Kukoc into tapioca just by pointing out his mistakes. This Jackson is not reluctant to do, and while opportunities are many, Jackson can also be admired for his restraint.
In Game 2, Kukoc again was deemed the least blameworthy of the pair and was allowed the opening spotlight, while Rodman, taking it like a near-grownup, retired to the locker room instead of encouraging his teammates in any obvious way, though in most places Rodman leaving the room would be considered a welcome benefit.
Had Rodman started Game 2, it would have meant clearly that he was being punished in Game 1 for assorted absences and private lunacy, all because he had turned 37, still a little early for the classic midlife crisis, but Rodman does like to think he is ahead of his time.
Rather, the fiction can be encouraged that Rodman is a strategic weapon, maybe the kindest thing he has ever been called.
Rodman is supposed to use the time away from the arena to stay loose on the stationary bike, while, even if true, is not a concession allowed any other bench player, certainly not Kukoc, who sits as a second-stringer for all to see until he is needed.
For his part, Jackson ignored Rodman’s gesture, assuming Rodman was in his customary position at the corner of the bench, or would be there when called to duty.
More Top Picks Best Electric Spin Mops
The call came with a little less than five minutes to play in the first quarter when Indiana replaced center Rik Smits with Antonio Davis, not the usual substitution.
Jackson signaled for Rodman. Nothing. Jackson got up from his seat, walked down the bench. No Rodman.
“Go get him,” he snapped at an assistant trainer, and thus, on his own terms, did Rodman rejoin the Bulls, his point made, which is, I can only assume, that Rodman is even smaller than he looks.
Making a grand and obvious re-entrance, Rodman got his moment after all, and more cheers than he deserved.
Who applauds the truant for finally showing up? Isn’t it irritating to have to send for Rodman?
“It was tonight,” Jackson said. “I’ll have a talk with Dennis the next couple days and try to get him straight.”
Not that Rodman’s rebounds weren’t needed. When he entered the game, the Bulls were down 10-3 in boards and three points in score. By the half, the Pacers had increased their rebound advantage and the point spread. Rodman had no more rebounds and fewer points than Kukoc.
On this night, Rodman played like an afterthought, never really coming out of the locker room. By game’s end, Rodman had fewer rebounds than Ron Harper, all the Davises and every Dutchman on the floor.
As the game wore on, as Kukoc and Rodman switched off, even occupied the floor at the same time, Kukoc’s value became more apparent than Rodman’s.
Kukoc was the one with the energy, the one involved, the one with the ball.
This was not the way for Rodman to earn his job back.
Certainly, compared in simple encouragement and active appreciation of what both of them are involved in, Kukoc is the much better cheerleader.
On nights when Jordan scores 41 points, you can’t have too many of those.