The dust of the fall-season launch has settled, and the networks are shuffling their lineups in anticipation of next month’s launch of TV’s midseason. It’s a perfect time, in other words, to update Mink TV, the prime-time schedule I would assemble if I were America’s Television Leader.
This is not a static list, by the way. Seven of the 27 shows named to the honor roll last March are gone from today’s tally. Three simply have fallen from favor for various reasons (“Men Behaving Badly,” “The Drew Carey Show” and “The Nanny”), and four were canceled two months after making my all-star team (“EZ Streets,” “High Incident,” “Dark Skies” and “Dangerous Minds”).
This suggests, of course, that earning the Mink TV label may not always be a blessing.
Not my problem.
The current scorecard breaks down as follows: 10 of the 27 shows air on NBC (down from 12 last time), six on CBS (no change), four on ABC (down one), four on Fox (up one), one on HBO (no change) and one each for two newcomers, Comedy Central and the WB.
Here, then, is my preferred prime-time schedule:
SUNDAY: “60 Minutes” (CBS), “The Simpsons” (Fox), “King of the Hill” (Fox) and “Touched By An Angel” (CBS). Some shows just fit their time slots perfectly, and that is more apparent on Sunday than any other night. By long-standing tradition, by the way, Mink TV shuts down at 9 on Sundays to allow for early bedtimes at the start of the school/work week.
MONDAY: “Everybody Loves Raymond” (CBS), “3rd Rock From the Sun” (NBC), “Ally McBeal” (Fox) and “Brooklyn South (CBS).” No more conflict between “Ally” and WB’s “Buffy” (see Friday). It also puts “Ally” in close proximity to the aliens of “3rd Rock,” with whom she clearly would share a sense of not quite fitting in.
TUESDAY: “Friends” (NBC), “Frasier” (NBC), “The Practice” (ABC) and “NYPD Blue” (ABC). The recent “NYPD Blue” two-parter was a potent reminder of the power of this show.
WEDNESDAY: “NewsRadio” (NBC), “Just Shoot Me” (NBC), “Ellen” (ABC), “South Park” (Comedy Central) and “Law & Order” (NBC). Anybody who thinks “Ellen,” even the now-gay and now-funny “Ellen,” is controversial hasn’t seen the socially insane, radically violent and delightfully foul-mouthed animated 8-year-olds of “South Park.”
THURSDAY: “Seinfeld” (NBC), “The Larry Sanders Show” (HBO), “Nothing Sacred” (ABC) and “ER” (NBC). Think “Nothing Sacred” can’t get ratings on Thursday nights? Slip that bold, sensitive little newcomer into this lineup and watch what happens.
FRIDAY: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (WB), “Profiler” (NBC) and “The X-Files” (Fox). My kind of TGIF: all weird, all the time.
SATURDAY: “JAG” (CBS), “Michael Hayes” (CBS) and “Homicide: Life on the Street” (NBC). Except for “Homicide,” still one of TV’s best series, this lineup is admittedly thinner than those on the other nights. Still, I like the old-fashioned sensibility of “JAG,” and I want to give David Caruso and executive producer Paul Haggis more time before writing off their show.