Oh, no. It is that time again.
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It is time for the Great American Parent Panic, a frantic occasion otherwise known as the Christmas shopping season.
Don we now our body armor, sensible shoes and grim game face.
Off we go to stores, strip malls and toy emporiums to risk body assault by some nitwit’s shopping cart or a slow death of hunger and heat while waiting at the gift-wrapping counter.
Eagerly we wait the golden holiday itself as we watch anxious little ones wake up, remember that this is a special day, jump out of bed, scamper into the living room, rip open their gifts and say “Is this all?”
That’s why you will hear no sympathy from me for the poor toy sellers who, according to news reports, have failed to find their blockbuster this year.
Sure, the hearty perennials like Barbie and G.I. Joe still sell briskly. And some loonies still pay $1,000 or more for a rare Beanie Baby.
But with Christmas Day rapidly approaching, no toy has captured the greedy, ravenous impulses of America’s tots like the hysteria that surrounded Cabbage Patch Kids, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Tickle Me Elmo or Nintendo 64 in recent seasons past.
“The hunt is on for the toy that will make parents panic,” read a recent New York Times headline.
Ah, gee, guys. No blockbuster? None? Nada? What sorrow. What a pity. What a shame.
But, ah, what a relief.
Perhaps this explains why last Saturday I was able to get in and out of Toys “R” Us before Sunday.
Sorry, folks, but, as a parent, I don’ t have much sympathy for the toymakers, sellers and marketers who begin months in advance figuring out how to make us parents panic.
The toy marketers appear to be getting pretty sneaky about it, too, as they try to create a panic just to stir up more sales. For example, according to The Times, Hasbro Inc. has given different toy-store chains “exclusive rights to sell certain of its `Star Wars’ figures, making parents search store to store for the entire collection–but also garnering lots of free publicity.” Sneaky.
Well, I’ve paid my dues. I stood at the loading dock of a toy store for the Power Rangers “Zord” robots to arrive. I have laid my money down to order Nintendo 64 in advance. I have had grandma send hard-to-find “Star Wars” action figures from the chain drug store near her Florida retirement village, where toys stay on the shelves a bit longer than they do near our house.
But that apparently isn’t enough for the panic pushers. They want more. Retailers earn half their annual profits at Christmas. The marketers of the material world have only about a month to make most of their money, despite valiant efforts by some to inch the season’s starting time up to mid-summer.
Perhaps I have seen the worst of it. At 8, my only child is on the cusp of “I believe” and “Sure, I’ll humor the folks if it gets me more toys.”
Why not? There is nothing that brings more joy to a parent than the sight of their little darlings having a happy Christmas. It is with sadness that we see our own offspring’s faith in Santa’s existence wavering, for it is a bittersweet reminder that our child is growing up, that we won’t have him forever.
But, at least, it also means one less line for Mommie and Daddie to stand in at Christmastime–the Santa line.
Standing in the Santa line gives us parents a few moments to ponder a few things, including our sanity and how close we are to losing it. We are crazy. Our kids ought to know. They make us crazy.
This is especially true for today’s working parents. None of us feels as though we are doing enough for our little darlings. So we fall prey to the Christmas consumerism craze and it often fools us. It makes us think a coveted toy can make up for lost time.
That’s ironic, since there’s no gift more rare for a parent than the time we spend with our children, nor is any gift more valuable to the child. Just ask grandparents.
In business, time is money. In child rearing, time is love. It is a gift over which there is no need to panic. There is only the need to appreciate it and make good use of it, before we use it up.
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Speaking of the gift of giving . . .
Children in homeless and underprivileged families want a happy holiday, too. You can help provide food, clothing and warm shelter for them by filling out this coupon and attaching it to your donation to the baiduhai Holiday Fund.
And to help the children have a happy holiday, toys will be distributed, too.
Whatever you can give will be appreciated. The holiday fund reaches the underprivileged and developmentally disabled in neighborhoods throughout the city and suburbs.
Remember: ’tis more blessed to give than to receive. More satisfying, too.