We return to our award-winning spooky story by Stephanie M., 13, of Chicago. In case you’ve forgotten, here’s a quickie version of the story so far:
KidNews staff writer Amanda Vogt started the story about Emily Edwards, a new girl in Castleville who was really lonely. Though she craved friends, something was odd about the neighborhood kids. And each night they gathered in an abandoned farmhouse on the outskirts of town. Emily followed them – and one night she peeked inside.
Stephanie took it from there. In her Part I, published last week, she began:
“The kids … no, they couldn’t be called kids now. `No!’ Emily screamed inside her mind. One of the things lifted its head, almost as if it had heard her. She ducked down, her mind whirling. It couldn’t be! But it seemed so… familiar.”
Stephanie then described how Emily thought back to when she was 10 and her mom and dog Cody had died. The funeral had been really creepy, with the feeling that an evil spirit was there. Now in Castleville, at the farmhouse, she felt that same evil spirit. Part I ended with: “Emily’s thoughts raced back to the present. The things inside the farmhouse weren’t alone. They were surrounded by bodies – dead bodies – in cages…”
AND NOW, PART II:
The bodies were being tortured by every means that humans have used to torture others – and more. Even though they seemed to be dead, the bodies, which Emily, horrified, realized were actually souls, screaming for peace, for rest. And yet, they continued to be tortured. Emily’s mouth dropped open, and without even realizing she did it, screamed. She now knew what was inside the farmhouse – hell. And the children were the devil’s accomplices, evil looking things not unlike the spirit she had seen in the fire.
Emily turned to run from the farmhouse, but one of the devil children, having heard her scream, had left the torturous place and grabbed her by the arm. She tried to wrench herself away from it, but, although he was much smaller than her, he was surprisingly strong. Finding herself being pulled toward hell, Emily screamed at the top of her lungs. The child’s grip loosened slightly, and he winced. In that split second, Emily pulled free. She tried to run, but the devil kid was quick, and she found herself being dragged toward the farmhouse again. Unable to resist, she was put into a cage by the devil child.
Emily wasn’t tortured like the dead souls, a fact she found immensely relieving, but when she tried to open the cage door, she quickly discovered it was made of burning hot metal. Emily, frustrated, started crying, her sobs gradually turning into wails. The devil kids started to look nervous, but Emily didn’t know why. She was interrupted from wailing by the soul in the cage next to her. It was a man entirely on fire, from his hair to his skin, and even his breath. He was trying to say something to her. “Please,” gasped the man between screams. “Listen.”
“Let me out of here!” wailed Emily.
“You can… get… out… Listen… to me… The… devils… don’t… like… live… human… voices… They… can’t… handle it… You can… free… everyone… here…”
“Yes! Keep going!” said Emily, hanging on to the shred of hope that she might be able to get out alive.
“Scream… use… your… lungs… yell… cry… just… help us…”
Emily started screaming, now almost joyously. She wept happily, and even sang. The tortured souls became restful, and the devils covered their ears and sobbed themselves. They started to disappear into the ground, along with their torture devices. The souls started to float upwards, toward heaven, right through the farmhouse roof. “Thank… you,” said the man, who, Emily thought, looked quite handsome without flames engulfing him.
Only one soul stayed behind in the now-empty farmhouse – one who Emily recognized right away. “Mom! Oh, I missed you!” Emily said as the mother and daughter hugged.
“I missed you too, Em.”
“Are you back to stay now?”
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“No, I’m sorry, I can’t. You know I would, but I’m already dead. In fact, I had better leave now. I’ll visit you, if I can. If not, you know I still love you. Say hi to your dad, OK?”
Tears streamed from Emily’s eyes. “But Mom…”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. You will too. I love you.” As she floated up through the roof, Emily’s mother pointed at the dog whistle around Emily’s neck. Emily stood alone in the empty farmhouse. Walking outside, she looked down at the dog whistle and blew on it. A small German shepherd puppy bounded out of the farmhouse, almost knocking her over.
“Cody!” Emily looked up at the sky, and knew that even though Mom was dead, she could still have memories, and life would go on. Cody turned and barked at the farmhouse, and the entire place went up in flames. The flames disappeared then, along with the farmhouse and the evil spirits.
She hugged Cody and started walking home. “Let’s go, Cody. We’ve got a lot to tell Dad.”
OTHER THRILLERS? WE’LL SPILL IT:
Thanks again to L.J. Smith, author of the “Night World” and “Forbidden Game” series, for judging our contest. Here are the four runners-up, with a quick plot summary and Smith’s comments:
2nd place: “Reminiscence” by Olivia T., 13, of Chicago. Emily is ignored because she’s a ghost – killed in the accident that took her mom’s life. “Gave me a chill!” Smith said. “Very nice twist to the end – the writer picked up on the hints in the setup that there might be something odd about Emily herself.”
3rd place: “A Scary Story” by Angela G., 13, of Chicago. Kids keep disappearing and evil dolls come to life to seal Emily’s tragic fate. “Short and zingy,” Smith said.
4th place: Untitled by Vincent W., 9, of Chicago. Emily kicks some Zombie butt – with nice moves and a roll of toilet paper. “Good details, nicely thought out,” Smith said. “An easy, conversational writing style. Scary, but with a touch of wry humor at the end.”
5th place: Untitled by Elias M., 13, of Chicago. With help from her mom’s spirit – embodied in an amulet – Emily destroys the forces of evil in Castleville. “Nice overall concept, very imaginative,” Smith said. “Good closure, too, bringing the mom and dad in. A magical story.”
Also, KidNews’ Amanda Vogt includes five honorable mentions. Congrats to:
Andrew A., 12, Buffalo Grove
Rebecca E., 12, Evanston
Pam K., 12, Buffalo Grove
Dan M., 13, Arlington Heights
Sarah V., 11, Wauwatosa, Wis.