Enough, already. Everywhere I go now, I find myself around winning teams. That means I have to hear about how great they are or how lousy the teams are in Chicago.
It was a particular relief to leave Miami. They’re going nuts down there because the Florida Marlins could win the National League pennant with one more victory here over the Braves either Tuesday or Wednesday night.
There’s a lot of heat in South Florida, and not much humility. Hockey’s Panthers went to the Stanley Cup finals in only their third year, basketball’s Heat is on the verge of big things and the Dolphins, celebrating the 25th anniversary of their undefeated team, already are licking their chops about the Bears’ visit in two weeks.
Meanwhile, besides the Bulls, we have nothing in Chicago. So I hear theories about why our teams are so awful. They’re cheap. They’re dumb. They’re spastic. They’re disorganized.
Even Jim Leyland, one of the geniuses in Miami along with Jimmy Johnson and Pat Riley, got into it the other day.
“What’s with the sports up there?” asked the Marlins’ manager, who used to coach for the White Sox.
“They’re slow learners, that’s all,” I said. “Our teams are just more patient than most. They don’t panic.”
Leyland gave me a strange look and walked away. But I know I got him thinking. He figures the Marlins do it right because, since joining as an expansion team in 1993, they have gone from sixth place to fifth to fourth to third to second.
I don’t buy it. I much prefer the Cubs, who pay Sammy Sosa $10 million a year, then decide on the last weekend of the season that he’s selfish. Then, the day after their 94th loss, they boldly fire the first base coach, Mako Oliveras.
Now, anybody could rush into things and spend a bunch of money to become instant contenders, but that’s just showing off. That’s the easy way, a knee-jerk quick fix. I like the Cub approach. Take a long look at your lousy team before jumping to any rash conclusions you might regret later.
That’s why the Cubs fired their trainer after last season. It’s one thing to suspect your trainer and first base coach are the real reasons why you haven’t won a pennant since 1945, but better to be safe than sorry. You don’t want to let go of a trainer and first base coach, then have them come back to haunt you with another team.
The White Sox are careful and deliberate too. They weren’t ready to play baseball in April, but General Manager Ron Schueler didn’t pinpoint the problem until October, when he gassed manager Terry Bevington for running a terrible spring training. Better to err on the side of caution.
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The Blackhawks haven’t won a Stanley Cup since 1961, the longest NHL dry spell, but instead of acting impulsively, they dumped their team doctor last spring after he was there almost two decades. Between you and me, the Hawks expect big things from their new doctor.
The Bears hired Rick Mirer months ago, not only because he’s a terrific quarterback, but he fit the mold as a slow learner. They said it would be a while before he figured out their offense, and they were right. It must be complicated. None of the other Bears have figured it out, either.
I hope the Bulls don’t get off to a slow start, for if they don’t win their opener in Boston on the last night of the month, Chicago teams might be 0 for October.
Which doesn’t mean defeat sits well with our heroes.
“I want to throw chairs,” Mirer said the other day.
Please, Rick, not until you’re sure they won’t be intercepted. Take your time and study that playbook.
I hope you too have learned something through this little essay. As I said, I know I made Jim Leyland think. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.