When Albert Belle departed Cleveland last winter to sign with the White Sox as a free agent, he said one reason for changing teams was that he wanted to “start over.”
Of course, Belle had 55 million other reasons for leaving the Indians, but we took the man at his words, especially since those really were his words. Belle actually talked last winter, and not through an agent, interpreter or bodyguard.
Regrettably, the great experiment didn’t work. Belle has hit only 21 home runs, fans haven’t come to Comiskey Park in droves, and the Sox are entrusting their future to somebody named Mike Caruso.
But we have a way for Belle to start over starting over again, and he won’t even have to sell his house in Chicago. The Sox should trade Belle to the Cubs. They could use him. Belle would be a nice fit for Wrigley Field, an inviting park for a slugger of his ilk.
Belle wouldn’t ask for the fences to be brought in there and he would help the team’s anemic attack. The Cubs have been outhomered this season, 132 to 85, an indication that they hit like 98-pound weaklings at home and on the road. Maybe he could teach his new teammates how to cork a bat. Even if he doesn’t want to talk to them, he could draw them a picture.
Beyond that, though, Belle would be a fine addition to a club lacking an attitude. For the last 52 years or so, this has been a passive bunch. The last guy to throw a chair in anger over there was Eddie “King” Solomon. But he was a Cub pitcher, so, naturally, he missed his target.
Also, being a Cub would be good for Albert. We’re hearing now that he slumped at the start of this season because he was pressing. His mother, Carrie, warned us. She denied that Albert is crazy. What he is, she said, is a perfectionist.
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Well, now, if Albert needs a cuddly corner where he won’t find himself squeezing the bat under the weight of great expectations, Wrigley Field is it. Cub fans are the most forgiving people on the planet. That’s why they show up, no matter what, and you remember what Albert also said last winter, when he was talking.
“That would really bother me,” was the quotation, “if Sox fans don’t come out.”
Exactly where the Cubs could hide Belle in the outfield might be a problem. I say, let him stay in left, deep left. Put him up against the ivy, so he can’t fall backward and will have to waddle in one direction, forward.
In time, he’ll learn how to play all those carom shots, and if they really let that stuff grow, terrific. Any opposition triple becomes an automatic ground-rule double if the ball disappears in the shrubbery, and you know what Albert also said about himself last winter, when he was talking.
“I’ll do whatever it takes to win,” he said.
Belle does have a no-trade contract, but he can waive it. There’s a rumor about Jerry Reinsdorf, the Sox chairman, trying to foist Belle on his pal Jerry Colangelo and the Arizona Diamondbacks. But instead of letting Belle go in the expansion draft, the Sox could ship him to the Cubs.
For what? The Sox are big on minor-leaguers we’ve never heard of, and the Cubs are loaded in that department. But if I’m the Cubs, my stipulation is that the Sox select minor-leaguers only from the current major-league roster, and at least five pitchers must be included or the deal’s off.
Ideally, sometime next summer, the Cubs could stage a Belle Beanie Baby Day. Wind it up and it chases the neighborhood kids around the block with a corked bat on Halloween.
Nice guys finish last? The Cubs can fix that with one phone call.