Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for seven months, and she still receives letters from her ex-boyfriend. This doesn’t bother me, because she is very close to his family and I understand that.
My problem is that I have read some of the letters and found out she has not been truthful to me when I ask if they have fooled around since we have been together. How do I go about getting her to tell me the truth without telling her I read the letters (which I know was wrong)?
A. You have no choice but to say to her that you did look at the letters and you find this unacceptable. That she is close to his family is one thing, but lying to you and continuing to fool around, as you call it, is another.
You can’t build a future with her on such shaky ground. Either you have to confront her and give her an ultimatum or you are going to have to look for another girlfriend.