A month from now, ABC and Disney will unveil their allegedly groundbreaking episode of “Ellen,” the one in which the character played by Ellen DeGeneres is supposed to make TV history by coming out as a lesbian.
This is fair warning, then, for all you other TV shows out there: If you act fast enough, you may still be able to beat “Ellen” to the punch.
No joke. I mean, let’s face it. The primary reason “Ellen” is tiptoeing down this particular road is to attract attention to a show desperately in need of some.
So if having the first leading character to announce her lesbianism is such a big deal, why can’t some other series sneak in under the wire and steal her thunder?
I know, the folks at “Ellen” will say this new plot line is just a way of being true to the character. But I don’t buy it.
If coming out means being true to Ellen the actress, it’s not necessarily necessary. Even after Rock Hudson went solo on TV, and “McMillan and Wife” became “McMillan,” the title character didn’t start hanging out after hours with Sgt. Enright.
And if it means being true to the character played on the series, TV history is littered with leading ladies who could have reasonably turned the corner to lesbianism.
I’m thinking, for example, of Eve Arden’s “Our Miss Brooks,” a man-crazy single woman who, like supporting characters Zelda on “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis” and Sally on “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” never landed her male quarry. Maybe there was a good reason — just like, perhaps, there was a formerly undisclosed reason why the marriage failed on, and for, “Rhoda.”
But that was then. This is now–and these are the shows that reasonably could beat “Ellen” to the lesbian finish line:
– “Roseanne.” An obvious choice, since Roseanne Conner already kissed a lesbian (played by Mariel Hemingway) a few seasons back–and since the show has done just about everything else with Roseanne this year anyway.
– “Murphy Brown.” If you think Dan Quayle was shocked by the single motherhood issue, imagine how he’d react to a change in Murphy’s sexual orientation.
– “Xena: Warrior Princess.” This isn’t much of a stretch at all, since Xena and her sidekick Gabrielle are constant companions anyway.
– “Star Trek: Voyager.” This would be the logical way to go for Capt. Janeway, who has the tightest space bun this side of Princess Leia.
It would also give the writers a chance to chart a new frontier for TV leading ladies, and boldly go where no woman has gone before.