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player ready...Viola Brown doesn’t know anything about Michael Jordan, but she knows plenty about birthdays and so can speak with authority when she says the Bulls superstar should view his 34th on Monday as a blessing, not a curse.
“He should be happy for living to be that old; a lot of people don’t get there,” said Brown. “When I was 34, I was happy.”
That was in 1926, and Brown, now a resident of the Jackson Square Nursing Centerin the Austin neighborhood, has been looking forward to every birthday since. Tuesday , she turns 105 and can’t wait for the cake and ice cream.
Brown is hardly typical, however. Birthdays are a funny phenomenon, especially in a culture that celebrates youth. Children, in a race to grow up, can’t wait to blow out their next set of candles even as they bask in the promise of youth.
Sixteen-year-olds celebrate the right to drive, 18-year-olds the right to vote and 21-year-olds the right to buy a beer.
Fast forward a few years, however, and that youthful anticipation increasingly gives way to feelings ranging from ambivalence to trepidation. Hair recedes, tummies bulge and features that once didn’t sag now do.
We’re not future anythings, except maybe geezers.
Take Jordan, not exactly a relic. He jumped Sunday to correct a TV interviewer who added a mere three extra years to his age. Yet, on Monday, he was said to be marking hisbirthday with a private party on a boat.
“A birthday is a manifestation of your mortality,” said Dr. James Webster, a Northwestern University geriatric specialist. “It’s kind of a clear marker.”
And as you get older, that can be disconcerting. Fifty may be a hallmark, but it is also a half-century and the beginning of your eligibility for membership in the American Association of Retired Persons.
“I would rather mine just go away,” said 70-year-old Naomi White, nibbling on a piece of pepperoni pizza Monday at Water Tower Place. “I’m happy if I live to see it come around again, but I don’t like celebrations or anything.”
Standing in Laurie’s Hallmark store, near a wall lined with sarcastic birthday gag gifts, sales clerk Nancy Gondek said that thumbs-down view of birthdays strikes at various ages. “For some people, it hits them at 40, some it hits them at 50. Some people can take them in stride, some people can’t,” the forty-something Gondek says. “I’m hitting that age myself.”
So, too, are many others who once seemed the flower of youth. In addition to Brown, Tuesday’s birthday list includes John Travolta (43), Cybill Shepherd (48), and Yoko Ono (64.) “Wheel of Fortune’s” Vanna White, in addition to turning vowels Tuesday, turns 40.
Even at 18, Annie Henning says the excitement of birthdays has faded. “I’ve started to grow indifferent,” said Henning, who drives a horse carriage for tourists on Michigan Avenue. “I’m not old enough to start dreading it, but beyond 21 what else is there?”
Not that adding candles is an automatic downer. Loyola University Chicago psychiatrist Sidney Weissman said people who feel a sense of accomplishment in their lives often relish a good birthday bash. President Clinton, for example, celebrated his 50th in grand style last year at Rockefeller Center in New York.
Athletes, however, may be a special case, said Weissman. At 34, Jordan isn’t old enough to be elected president, yet he’s in his twilight years as a pro.
“If you’re in your mid-30s, you know your career in whatever sport you’re playing is likely to be near an end. Jordan’s 34 is a reminder that in terms of physical prowess you lose some of that skill,” said Weissman.
Mike Keiser, co-owner of Recycled Paper Greetings, a Chicago-based greeting card company, said it’s imperative for those in his business to be mindful of changing sensitivities toward birthdays.
Cards for children typically bear warm and fuzzy messages. But when recipients get about 30, the messages get increasingly nasty: “40! Welcome to the decade from Hell,” “Guess my age and win a fat lip.”
For those a few years older, however, the cards again become sensitive, sweet and supportive, often pointing out how wise and inspirational the birthday man or woman is.
“As people get older, they get more sensitive,” Keiser explained. “You can still crack jokes, but they’re less mean-spirited because people really do have one foot in the grave.”
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Once past middle age, people seem more at peace with the idea of birthdays again, Webster said. “I have no problem talking with older people about dying,” said Webster. “It’s their children who have trouble talking about it. Grandma and grandpa have worked it through. They have finally figured out there’s a time to be born and a time to die.”
Laurie Worachek may be the exception that proves the rule. The former junior high school English teacher turned 33 on Sunday–the day before Jordan–and says she has used that coincidence to make her aging seem more comforting.
“I seemed ancient to my students,” said Worachek, who lives in Rogers Park. “They would say, `you`re so old, you don’t understand our generation.’ I would say, `ah yes, but I’m still a year younger than Michael Jordan. That impressed them. Think of all the things that MJ is able to do.”