Praise the Lord and pass the mascara! Tammy Faye and Jim Bakker are back! Not prison, cancer, drug addiction, Jessica Hahn nor Jerry Falwell can keep these televangelists down.
In their heyday, they were the biggest stars on Christian television. Their theme park, Heritage USA, was the third-biggest tourist destination in the U.S. They lived a life even a country singer would envy. Their dog house was air-conditioned!
That was before former church secretary Jessica Hahn alleged that she was raped by Bakker. The government went after him for overselling space in his hotel complex and sentenced him to 45 years in prison. Jerry Falwell took over his TV ministry, which then went bankrupt. Tammy divorced him and married his best friend. Then she developed colon cancer.
But here they are, nearly 10 years after PTL (it stood for Praise the Lord) came crashing down, with dueling books. There’s “Tammy: Telling It My Way” by Tammy Faye Messner (Villard Books) with The Tamster in lace and ribbons, frosted nails, false eyelashes, and Joan Crawford lips. And there’s Jim Bakker’s “I Was Wrong: The Untold Story of the Shocking Journey From PTL Power to Prison and Beyond” (Thomas Nelson Publishing) with a repentant Bakker in a blue work shirt against a black background.
Jim is single and out of prison. Tammy Faye is married to developer Roe Messner, who has had his own trouble with the law, something about bankruptcy fraud, and is currently out on bond, appealing his conviction. Tammy Faye could see two husbands go to jail. That will surely test her faith.
Here is a look at their books. Tammy’s is shorter and meaner.
Acknowledgments
“I want to acknowledge above all the Lord Jesus Christ.”–“Tammy”
“To my best friend, who never left me … Jesus!” –“I Was Wrong”
Bizarro factoids
“I (was born with) beautifully shaped fingernails. It looked like I had been to the manicurist.”–“Tammy”
“Several people whom I had never expected to respond to our hurt called almost immediately … Richard Simmons and Elton John.” –“I Was Wrong”
“I needed a quiet place where I could go and talk to God. I found comfort inside my closet.” –“Tammy”
“When something bad happened to me, I would retreat to a bed or couch. When something awful happened to Tammy Faye, she went to Disney World!” –“I Was Wrong”
“As far back as I can remember (Jim has been) really great with money. I think that’s the Jewish part of Jim. His grandmother was a German Jew and I think he inherited this quality with her Jewish blood.” –“Tammy”
Holy moly
“I looked up, and standing in the doorway of Jim’s office was a huge angel. He looked to be about eight feet tall. I cannot remember seeing his face, but I do remember the words he spoke to me. `Fear not, for as of this moment I and my angels are going forward to do battle for you.’ With that, he disappeared.” –“Tammy”
(While in prison, Bakker hears Tammy Faye singing the theme song for PTL on the radio.) “To some people this might have been mere coincidence. To me it was a miracle.” –“I Was Wrong”
The Max Factor factor
“What has always stunned me is why people even care what you do to your face. . . . I plan on looking this way till I’m a hundred! I will be buried in makeup and eyelashes.” –“Tammy”
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“Tammy Faye looked incredible! She wore a chic, tailored, close-fitting black dress with large white polka dots. A matching black-and-white leather bag was at her side. White, half-moon shaped earrings decked her ears, while several gold bracelets and a watch graced her left wrist. On her right wrist were several white plastic bangles. She had gold rings on almost every finger.” –“I Was Wrong”
The root of all evil
“The Assemblies of God church has always preached prosperity. They based it upon the scripture in the Bible that says, `Give and it shall be given unto you, pressed down, shaken together, and running over.’ That is the essence of our faith.” –“Tammy”
“I got to the point where I was teaching people at PTL, instead of praying `Thy will be done’ when you want a new car, just claim it. Pray specifically and tell God what kind you want. Be sure to specify what options and color you want, too.’ ” –“I Was Wrong”
Tammy steps out: part one
“In all my frustration, hurt, and anger with Jim, I allowed something disastrous to happen. I fell in love with another man. His name was Gary S. Paxton. He had written `Monster Mash’ and “Alley Oop.’ ” –“Tammy”
“I was surprised and panic-stricken to sense my wife slipping into the arms of another man. She later told me that she had not engaged in sexual intercourse with Gary, but that they had spent long hours talking, hugging and kissing.” –“I Was Wrong”
She made him do it
“Was my relationship with Gary what eventually drove Jim into the arms of Jessica Hahn? Well, I’m sure it didn’t help. Was Jessica Hahn his idea of getting even?” –“Tammy”
“One day during a casual conversation I flippantly said that I ought to have an affair to make Tammy jealous. Just think, I could say to Tammy Faye, `I had an affair, too, Baby.’ I’d be fighting fire with fire!” –“I Was Wrong”
Cut to the chase
“Jessica Hahn and I never had a love affair. We had a 15- to 20-minute tryst. We had no ongoing relationship. We conversed very little. We did not drink wine. Nor did I imply that by having sex with me she was serving God, somehow. Most of all, I did not rape Jessica Hahn. Foolish and sinful as it was, the sexual encounter for which we are both now infamous was completely consensual.” –“I Was Wrong”
“Years later Jim told me that nothing would have happened between him and Jessica had she not been so skillful. He said that he was not drawn to her physically in any way, nor did he remember her to be even good-looking. What took place that day was only sex. Jessica was a professional. She knew what she was doing. She knew what to wear, what to say, and all the right moves. She was no virgin.” –“Tammy”
“So Jim Bakker takes me. He gets up off the edge of the bed. He takes off his bathing suit–just undresses. I said to him, `What are you doing?’ I told him I had never been with a man. I kept pushing him away.” –Jessica Hahn, in a 1987 Playboy interview
The Betty Ford Center
“Tammy Faye was always medicating herself and had a dangerous habit of mixing over-the-counter and prescription drugs. She carried plenty of pills in her purse. It was a standard joke among many of our close friends that Tammy Faye’s purse was like a mobile drugstore.” –“I Was Wrong”
“I swallowed some aspirin and then an Ativan, a tranquilizer that originally had been prescribed to ease my fear of flying. But it seemed to quell so many of my other anxieties that I had begun to rely on it more and more, much more than I should have. . . . Jim began to talk to me: `Tam, the lady who came to see you this afternoon was from the Betty Ford Clinic. She feels you need to be admitted.’ ” –“Tammy”
Jerry Falwell
“For the next hour, Jerry Falwell outlined how I should resign from all three of my positions at PTL, as president, chairman of the board, and pastor of the church. . . . Within 24 hours, I lost my ministry, my life’s work, and my will to live. Overnight, I went from having a worldwide ministry with several thousand employees to having no ministry at all and being an unemployed pariah.” –“I Was Wrong”
“Falwell took everything that was precious to us and our family and trashed it before the world. All the trumped-up lies came straight from Falwell’s mouth. He knew the Christian world, so he knew what buttons you push to destroy someone.” –“Tammy”
Anything but that
“I knew well that an accusation of homosexual conduct was one of the most damaging charges that could be leveled at an evangelical minister. That is why of all the things said about me during the weeks and months following my pseudoresignation from PTL, (that) accusation was the most painful.” –“I Was Wrong”
“The partners would probably forgive Jim for an indiscretion with a woman. But many people could never forgive Jim if he were homosexual.” –“Tammy”
Alan Dershowitz
“As the trial approached its last days, Alan Dershowitz appeared on the scene. I don’t know who called him in. All I know is he arrived with much fanfare. I don’t even know what he did. He was there for one day. All I remember about Alan is his frequent calls to me in Orlando and the threatening letters he wrote telling that he had to have the thousands of dollars we owed him for that one day he was there.” –“Tammy”
“Alan Dershowitz did an outstanding job.” –“I Was Wrong”
Tammy steps out: part two
“I was not prepared for Tammy Faye’s blatant shifting of allegiance the night before my resentencing. As I looked at her and Roe (Messner), I could not deny the truth any longer. My wife and best friend were a couple.” –“I Was Wrong”
“From the moment (Roe and I) first kissed, magic happened.” –“Tammy”
“Nightline”
“Tammy’s and my appearance on `Nightline’ was historic, not for us, but for ABC. The show that night received the highest ratings in its history. The interview with Ted Koppel went well.” –“I Was Wrong”
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“The `Nightline’ interview was one of the bright spots in our media nightmare. Ted Koppel treated us professionally and courteously, a true journalist. We felt it was a very successful interview.” –“Tammy”
“Jim and Tammy Faye were . . . both outrageously nasty people.” –Ted Koppel, “Nightline: History in the Making and the Making of Television” (Times Books)