Q. I disagree with you and believe that if a man can’t get aroused by looking at his wife’s naked body, then the couple has problems. I am not over-religious or morally superior but I have talked with several of my female friends and the consensus is that if our husbands ever rented a porno film or brought home any of those naked-women magazines, we would divorce them, as they would not be the men for us.
No woman, no matter what she looks like, should ever feel that she has to compete with, be compared to or have her husband desire to view other naked women like the ones in those magazines. If two people are not attracted to each other physically, they should not be in a sexual relationship.
A. In the days before erotic magazines could be purchased on every corner and women would cover themselves from head to toe, a man would get excited just by the sight of a naked ankle. Men do get aroused visually, much more so than women, and it is very difficult to expect that over an entire lifetime a man would be aroused only when he sees his wife’s body.
For you and your friends to say that you would divorce your husbands if you caught them looking at erotic images seems very rigid. What about all the other aspects of a relationship — the love you share, the companionship, the children you raised? And what about fantasy? How do you know what is going on inside of his head? And don’t you ever read a novel that has some steamy love scene and then find yourself aroused?
I agree that a man shouldn’t flaunt the fact that he looks at it. On the other hand, if he goes out to see an X-rated movie and then comes home and makes fabulous love to her, what is the harm in that? However, if it is really too difficult for you to live with such a possibility, then I suppose you would have to accept the consequences of your convictions.