Well, let’s see: Is there anything else Alonzo Mourning can hit before the curtain drops?
He hit the Bulls’ Scottie Pippen with curses in Friday’s Game 1. He hit Ron Harper with a toweled fist in Sunday’s Game 2. He even hit all the token excuses for his shoddy performances, from the Bulls’ holding him to the three refs’ whistling against him more than the Seven Dwarves did while they worked.
Maybe, for Wednesday’s third and final game, Mourning could hit a field goal of consequence? Or a free throw with confidence? Or any other shot that, as this playoff cameo plays out for the Heat, would reaffirm the belief that this franchise’s future is safe in the bank account of its soon-to-be franchise center?
No-Show Zo.
This was the Heat’s playoff story again. The Heat lost again. Mourning still didn’t perform. The cart remains without its horse.
No-Show Zo.
No-Go Zo.
No-Free-Throw Zo, too, right from Sunday’s start, when whatever flicker of fun this series offered expired. Mourning missed his first four free throws and four of his opening five shots in his most notable two-game contribution that didn’t involve a closed fist or cursed word, often in combination, such as at first half’s end.
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Then, Mourning smacked a toweled fist in Bulls guard Ron Harper’s face. Harper had joked with Heat reserve Jeff Malone after the two bumped into each other walking off the court. Mourning was behind Malone and first smacked Harper, then cursed him.
Bulls fans hooted Mourning again Sunday but could hardly be surprised by such antics from a South Florida athlete. Bryan Cox was paroled here this off-season, right?
“I was just joking to Ron,” Mourning said.
Harper wasn’t laughing: “I owe him one.”
He’d better hurry. One is all that’s left now. It comes Wednesday in Miami Arena, and it isn’t so much the losing that must worry Heat brass. It’s realizing that its franchise center has been bullied and buried by a genetically and geographically challenged counterpart like Luc Longley.
Mourning had two rebounds and 10 points in his foul-plagued opener. In Sunday’s first half, which was the only half that mattered, he had more turnovers (four) than points (three).
“I could tell the bloke was frustrated,” said Longley, who is from Australia, the country whose sports contributions involve a swimming stroke and a yacht design. “I’m kind of wallowing in it.”
At the start of the second half, Mourning missed a 10-foot baseline jumper and saw a Longley hook shot go in over him. It hardly mattered anymore except to make a point. The Bulls led 70-38 at that point.
Mourning called it “frustrating” and “disappointing” and that “every time I got the ball, there were hands coming in and hitting it.”
No one expected the Heat to win this series. Everyone thought Mourning could help make it interesting. But this series is not interesting to Heat fans, or fun at all to basketball fans, as comedian Jay Leno offered upon leaving. When a friend said, “That was fun,” Leno scrunched his face. “Really?”