Q. I am currently in another state for a few months and my boyfriend calls me long-distance quite often. The problem is he is a very sexual person and when he calls me, I believe he sometimes masturbates on the phone. I get very embarrassed at this and try to get off the phone quickly. I am a moral person and feel awkward about this but don’t know how to handle it.
I would rather he not go off with someone else (although I don’t always give him much encouragement about a future with him and me), but I don’t know if his behavior on the phone is acceptable under the circumstances or perverted. Some of the things he does and says make me question if there is some perversion. He tells me how he wants to be true to me even though we have never actually made love. How do I handle his behavior?
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A. I don’t think that he is being perverse but I can also understand that it disturbs you, particularly as you have not had sex with him yet. If you cared about having this relationship develop, then I would say to you that you should ask him not to talk about it so explicitly and at the same time try to ignore it until you can get back together.
However, since you are not giving him much encouragement about a future together, it is a different story. In that case why bother having long phone calls and worrying about what he is doing on the other end? You have to do some thinking about where you stand and whether you want this relationship to develop any further.