Q. How do you get the opposite sex, i.e., men, to talk about sex, most particularly their past experiences? I feel that to be close to another person, you shouldn’t hide your past, but most men I’ve met aren’t like that?
A. Do not attempt to talk about anybody’s past sexual experiences. Just enjoy being close, enjoy the relationship and don’t pry or try to force anybody to talk about the past. Sometimes these questions and experiences emerge by themselves and people then talk about them if they so desire, but don’t make that an issue in your relationship.
Q. I’ve been having sex with my boyfriend for a couple of years, and though we always engage in foreplay, sex still hurts. He’s the only man I’ve been with. Is it his fault or mine, and what should we do about it?
A. It’s not a question of fault. When two people engage in sex but don’t have a satisfactory experience, then something has to be done, and both have to work at it. Your first stop should be to a gynecologist to make sure that there is nothing physically wrong. If you get the all clear, then you and your boyfriend should visit a sex therapist to find out how to have a better sexual relationship.